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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Leaving long time partner

3 replies

Lolaloula · 29/11/2024 22:00

So me and my partner have been together almost 11 years, lived together for 8 of those and have a 3.5yr child.

I have been feeling unhappy in the realonship for a while and always comes back to the same thing EVERYTIME he doesn't help around the house and barely wants to even spend time with his own child sometimes...

I feel like I have 2 children most the time not 1 and I love being a mum to my child but I have started to resent him... like when l ask him to do something it ALWAYS comes back to he's working or his eczema flaring up (get that a lot now it's cold)
I have started a new job 2 months ago so I feel like I am drowning, doing everything alone and just feel like I go round in circles and it's always the same he says he will, do 1 maybe 2 things or if really lucky a while list bit then week or 2 later back to nothing. He says I need to nag and I just don't have the energy for it... Like he's a grown man and our 3.5 Yr old does more round the house than he does at this point...

I am at breaking point... I know should try to resolve and talk about it but as per usual in my live it's 'bad timing' with Christmas time coming he will have to work a half day 2moz (a Saturday) so will have ' an excuse' not to be doing anything and I'm the bad guy for asking him to do the bare minimum to help around a house WE share

I feel that we are just good friends and do get on, mainly coz I just want him to have a good time with our child and suck/bottle ALOT up and now I'm going to expode....

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 30/11/2024 07:44

He’s an adult who lives in the house, you shouldn’t need to ask him to do stuff.
Unfortunately resentment is setting in, and it never goes away. You’d be better without him as you wouldn’t have to clean up after him or tolerate his behaviour.

AlertCat · 30/11/2024 08:05

Tell him what you have set out here. It’s intolerable and as pp said the resentment will destroy the relationship anyway.

Pat888 · 30/11/2024 08:10

Make a plan for how you would leave, how woulld finances work out, where would you live etc etc You don't have to carry through on this but you need to be confident you can go or he can go before you start trying to talk about it. Once you know you can give him an ultimatum.

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