I’ve been with my partner for six years and I love him to pieces. However, I don’t feel special at all in this relationship and I feel like we are not moving forward. I have wanted us to move out together for years, and there has always been an excuse whether it’s family or finances. I want to get married and have kids and build a life together, which he assures me he wants too, but we are no further forward than we were 3-4 years ago.
The past year he has been unwell with a medical condition which has required surgeries and time off of work. I have done everything I can to look after him, support him and help him through the physical, mental and financial strain of this. I feel like I give my all to him and am just supposed to ‘deal’ with his crappy moods because of how he is feeling and him taking his frustrations out on me.
I have tried to let him know that I feel stagnant and like I’m not moving anywhere in life and he just becomes defensive and tells me ‘well go somewhere then’. He still lives with his Mum and I don’t feel like he has any intention of moving out with me because it’s always me bringing up the conversation.
I feel like I do so much for him, thoughtful things and am always making sure he is ok. He tells me often he loves me and appreciates everything I do, but words just aren’t enough anymore.
I’m feeling so down because I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m so tired of giving my all and feeling like he doesn’t show up for me. I always feel cared for with him, he does all the things that make me feel safe: makes sure I’ve eaten, warm enough etc. but I don’t feel special and I want more, is that selfish? Are my expectations too high?
I don’t know how much longer I can wait for this man to prioritise me and actually want to build a life with me where we aren’t living with his Mum!