He's trying to get back together

[Alicew00]

I need to stay strong...i need encouragement to stay away..
The night i went on his phone and i saw the messages telling another woman he thought she was sexy and saying sexual things to each other. (He told it was just a colleague and i was just paranoid because of my past)! I have spoken with him a few times after this. I was in shock and never thought he'd do this to me. Especially when we'd broken up before and he cried out for me, couldn't eat or sleep.

He's still trying to convince he will be different. But i dont believe it and i can't stand him. Im ready to move on but he won't.

Break ups are unilateral. You don’t need him to agree to anything, you can just be done.

I assure you that he’ll eat and sleep just fine.

Move on without him, he lied to you, negged you and is now trying to emotionally manipulate you. Fuck him right off and back

Maybe he’ll remember that actions have consequences in future. He’ll survive. Block him and get on with your life and consider yourself to have had a lucky escape. They don’t change, no matter what they say.

If you say you're broken up you're broken up.

Block him.

There is somewhere out there a man that will show no interest in any other woman, who won't gaslight you or manipulate you. Wait for that man cause this one will break your heart if you go back

OK I can help I think.

Looking back over what I've seen in relationships, both my own and others, is that when it just falls apart or doesn't work, it is for a reason. I have instead on patching these sorts of things up and giving it another go, only for it to fall apart later in the same way. Thus I have learned to let the cards fall, because they fall that way for a reason. It means there is better out there for you. I wish I had not stayed so long in instances like yours. Just think - for the rest of your life, you will be with the man who has done wrong that can never be taken away. Is that what you wanted for your life?

Your best bet is to block him and if he gets through, do absolutely nothing. Delete and do not reply. He will soon go away. Do all you can to stay away from him, even grey rock if you meet him in the street.

Instead, be at home rebuilding your life - your plans, your hobbies, your self care, your life trajectory. Work out what you want in a relationship. You can have what you want. Clarify it and ask for it and accept nothing less. And while you wait, which you will have to do most likely, get on with your own life and enjoy it and be the best woman you can be.

He doesn't get to choose. He cannot insist that the relationship continues. If you say it's over, then it's over. End of.

Don't be emotionally blackmailed into taking him back.

He's sad to the point of melodrama - well, never mind, that's the consequences of being a cheating shite - and he will be fine.

It really isn't OK to text sexy stuff to a colleague. That is beyond inappropriate whether they are involved romantically or not. It would make me lose respect for him as being very immature and singularly lacking in decorum and common sense. Everything else you have posted makes him sound as if he is 14 - 16 years old.

You don't want to date someone with the maturity of a teenager so block him and every time you find yourself thinking of him, force yourself to think of something else you can do that will make your life better.

Thanks for the replies. Absolutely right. Ive just been thinking about all the things im going to do (hobbies) and other things i can do when my DD is at her dads house

And spend time with her also obviously

He will never be the person you thought he was. You will always be looking over your shoulder if you ever gave him a chance. You deserve better than that.

He's icky. Imagine having the cheek to call you paranoid for calling out his shit! Not only is he a cheat, he's also a gaslighting abusive asshole.

Text him 'Never.contact.me.again'. Then screenshot the messages (incase you need to show police you've asked him to leave you alone and he hasn't) and block him on everything.

Who cares what he wants. He's a scumball. He has no say in your choices anymore.

This.

Don't waste any more time on such a cheating, lying snake.