Bit of a follow up from my last message . I’m just interested to hear people’s thoughts on when you think everything’s all rosy in your relationship and suddenly you find out suddenly that it wasn’t and your partner/ wife has been living a lie but functioning normal in home / family life . You find out that she/he couldnt have loved you because of the things they have done eg affair/s- lies /- or in there eyes can they still love you and do these terrible things behind your back are they just built differently and no conscience ?. Does this develop when uve been together for so long for some people when you get to mid life I know people change when they get older men and women
I see there is a lot of folk on here when stuff like this happens , there quick to say divorce , move on , get rid etc which is probably the best thing you can do . But It’s so difficult when you have been with them for so long and you practically do everything together and think everythings fine .I suppose it easier when it’s been off for a while between the 2 off you and you know there’s something wrong and if you don’t fix it it will get worse .
Me personally cannot continue with someone who is capeable of such acts (affairs/lies)which smash family’s to bits and in my eyes will never be the same even if you give it another go it will never leave my mind. So it quite nerve racking going forward to me that I’m going into unknown territory especially when most of our friends are couples like us , knowing that I still love her but knowing that I cannot continue with her. Sorry for rambling on !