What would you think of this?

[Toppyfloppy]

I was in a relationship with a man for just over 5 years. Although we didn't say it every day or anything, we did tell each other we loved one another. However, this turned out not to be true as at the end he told me he'd never been in love with me and always knew my feelings were stronger. It hurt a lot, I was angry and called him a user. He just turned so cold and discarded me like a piece of dirt.

Obviously we are not together now but I suppose I'm wondering why stay with someone for years if you're not in love with them, wasting your time and theirs and was I justified in being angry?

Of course you are justified. What a horrible man. You deserve so much better.

Sometimes people change the narrative of a relationship, either to hurt the other person ("how could you ever think you were worthy of my love?") or to make themselves feel better ("I stayed in the relationship despite not loving you because I'm a good person and I didn't want to hurt you by ending it")

My ex was one of those people, he fully believes his own lies.

Don't give it the headspace, is my advice.

Thanks. I was just so shocked and hurt that I was trying to make sense of it, but I'm glad I'm out of it now if that's how he felt all along

I would say there was a lot more going on. I imagine he did have feelings at first but sometimes people stay in relationships for reasons other than love.

It's also common for someone having an affair to rewrite history and blame their partner for everything.

I think people settle or stay in relationships with ones they aren’t in love with for all sorts of reasons.

He’s most likely said it to hurt you.

Some people have a broken moral compass.
That’s not your fault.
Your value has not changed.
His opinion does not matter.
You can love yourself and also find love with someone else.
And remember to schedule some fun pursuits for yourself!
Post breakup doesn’t have to be miserable.

He was probably just trying to hurt you

Thanks all, I probably had a lucky escape really.

A very lucky escape! He sounds awful.

Yes, a cruel, unnecessary parting shot, likely said to cause hurt. Be glad he's gone.