Should he have went on night out

[umbrellasusie]

Dh works away. We have two small children age 2 and 4.
I also work part time. Life is really tough for me, I feel quite lonely and sad. The youngest isn't a good sleeper and life is just tough going solo.

We had a conversation about how lonely I felt and unhappy I was.
I work on the days dh is home, so we can afford childcare. If I work different days it's not worthwhile me working.
Dh was home on Friday, I went to work.
Saturday he had a day and night out planned with friends and Sunday he was working.
I didn't get to see him fully at all. I feel he shouldn't have went to the night out and spent time with us instead.
Our babysitter cancelled on him, so he waited until I got in from work and went. He knew I was upset.
I feel like he should have prioritised us, without me even mentioning it. The fact he knew how I have been feeling and still went has really upset me.

Tonight he has had the chance to come home early and he's went out for dinner with colleagues before he travels home. I will be in bed by the time he gets back. He could have grabbed a quick bite and came home sooner.

I just feel p**d off.

I'm not surprised you're unhappy.
You mentioned that the babysittter cancelled - so a babysitter for DH to go out is feasible, but you can't afford one to cover while you go to work? Who decided that?
I read somewhere that cracks in relationships really start appearing when the second child is 2, I'm not sure why then specifically, but having small children is hard work and pretty relentless, and if one person is not shouldering their fair share of the childcare, then the other parent is going to feel pretty resentful.

My DH used to work away when our DC were young, and he stopped it in the end, had to take a pay cut, but said he didn't like being away from me and the DC, didn't like staying in hotels .Even so, I don't think he had a clue how hard it was for me being at home with the children managing by myself for most of the time, and then him "catching up on sleep" when he actually was at home. He, who'd had uninterrupted kip in a hotel bedroom while I was dealing with a breastfed baby and a night-owl toddler, as well as a pretty stressful job, once told me that he regularly had to stop at the pub on the way home from work in order to de-stress before he came in through the door . If I hadn't been so furious I would have laughed.
I think you should rethink working when he is at home. Him being at home should actually give you some time off, or if he continues to work away, the babysitter should be for your benefit. But if he's only home for a few days, and you take a day each, then yes, you won't be seeing much of each other. I guess you have to decide what you want. It sounds as if he will be happy to carry on pleasing himself and so you have to make sure that you get what's fair for yourself.
If you are growing apart, you need to face the reality that you might need to be able to support yourself, and so personally I think you should focus on getting your career going. Are you only working one or 2 days a week? Can you revisit your joint finances, because it seems to me that he can afford a babysitter and to eat out and to go out drinking, but you can't afford to go to work. That is just wrong. Childcare should be a joint expense, and you should both be entitled to a fair share of any excess cash ,and time off.

I think you need to organise your own day/night out OP.! I know you don’t know people but get out there and mix with others
You have the same rights as your H to a life outside your family.

Dont mope be proactive and let your H share the load x

The babysitter was his sister, so not paid.
I work three days, it's not a career. Just a job. It really is just to make ends meet.
I need to work when he's home because we can only afford two days childcare at a nursery, even then it's a stretch.