Is this guy deranged?

[ThePerkyCoralPoet]

So, dating app guy. Spoke to him over summer. Told him it won’t work. Suddenly, he send me a few messages out the blue. I said no it won’t work.

Then he proceeds to send me voice notes about how his dad was ill over summer and that’s why he couldn’t message much. I said I’m sorry and I understand but he’s not what I’m looking for.

I said via voice note. I’m not interested regardless. He then said “I get that but I’m just asking for a chance. I have making up to do and I’m willing to make it up to you” then later on i again said “look I dont think its going to work because im not in a place to date” (this is still me being nice)

then he proceeds to send me 4 voice notes saying he appreciates my honesty and this is why he wants to take me on a date. Also, he thinks we’d get on really well because we’re aligned and he recalls it from before.

he doesn’t seem like he needs blocking I feel it’s mean. But then I’m starting to wonder if he’s deranged. How many ways do I need to fashion “no” for him to understand. I find this behaviour psychotic. Like he’s just not getting it?

Do I just hit block now?

Stop allowing him to trample your boundaries.

Ignore and block.

Why are you valuing your self so little that you are putting a random who is ignoring you over your own safety and emotional comfort??

Genuinely why do you think you need to be "nice" to a man who you've never met & only exchanged a few messages with months ago? Why do you think you owe him anything?
As PP have said he's constantly pushing your boundaries by ignoring your No and you're getting him by replying

Dating app guy? Just sounds like messaging so far. Met in person yet? If not, you are not dating.

Done!!!

He’s so pushy it’s just strange. I said I’m not interested so leave me alone please. Then blocked

Done!

Why do you need to ‘be nice about it’? All you’re doing is giving him a chink of an opening each time you answer. Ignore and he will go away, keep replying and he won’t.

Well done OP, I know being assertive doesn’t come naturally for many women, I know I had to learn the hard way myself.

Well done OP! Don't worry about hurting his feelings, if he was sensitive and easily hurt he would have got the message the first time you said no!

@ThePerkyCoralPoet no but you keep talking to him so he thinks you want his attention.

He is a boundary stomping idiot. Block him and move on.

You should also consider yourself as well. You told him no multiple times and kept engaging with him anyway. You didn't enforce your boundary or stop him in his tracks leaving yourself vulnerable to being worn down by his pathetic pleading. Work on this. It is okay to say no and mean it AND enforce it by blocking or not responding.

Hit block, he doesn't respect your wishes, he is trying to override what you want and replace your wishes with his wants. Big red flags.

Why do you need to be nice?

He's not being nice.

you should have blocked yonks ago - but do it now. And report him to the platform for harassment.

Well done for blocking.

I've fallen foul of that wanting to be nice thing. There are men out there who know this can be a female trait and rely on it to pressure us into things/relationships we do not want. He sounds like he fully understands you have said no but can see you were trying to be nice so used that for his own ends. You need to work on shifting your perspective- if men and women are equal and you personally are a valid and unique valuable person why the fuck does his feeling of rejection/disappointment trump your feelings of discomfort CAUSED BY HIM. He caused his own feelings by going on and put the responsibility into you with no regard for your feelings. You need to see this and not accept being treated this way so other men like him can't wheedle their way in in future

I was thinking just this. OP block, don't engage and if there's a way of reporting him in the app then do so. He's a creepy stalker. No one needs one of those in their life. If you engage to tell him to piss off you'll likely get a barrage of abuse.

Edited to say I hadn't seen the OP's update. Well done OP.