Am I Going Crazy

[WhoAmIAnymore24]

So me and my partner have been together for nearly 10 years, we have a 1 year old and just found out we are pregnant again.
This time around, I don't feel excited, I'm anxious and feeling full of stress and anxiety.
My partner, well... slowly but surely over the years has become one of the most unreliable and selfish people I know.
When I say I do everything, I do it all.
I cook every night, I clean the entire house all by myself.
I look after our 1 year old all throughout the day, he doesn't do any feeds I cook and clean and change every nappy. He's never even given our son a bath! (I bathe him every night) I read our son books, play with him all day and look after him without any help.
His excuse? He's building our business.
Well he has only been doing that for 6 months so what about the rest of the time??
And even still, there's times when he's legit just sitting there playing on his games.

I'm at boiling point and feel like it's going to end.
We're engaged, no talk of any wedding ever.
He speaks to me like shit infront of our son sometimes. Says things like 'shut up just shut up you're f*ING crazy'
And I have to revolve my entire life around him and his emotions. If I say anything wrong it's like the world is coming to an end.
He won't drive me anymore anywhere if I ask. He won't do anything for me at all.

Says he will do better whenever we talk about it all but literally nothing changes, ever.

I'm honestly scared about what to do.
I don't have supportive family and I have zero friends because he's genuinely made me isolate myself so much so that I have no one.

I know all of this is typical signs and I should just leave but the issue is we have kids together.

I don't have anywhere to go, I want a better life for my children.
I don't know what to do, I feel so stuck.
I would stay but I have dark days to the point where I feel like I don't wanna be here anymore and it scares me because i struggle with my mental health so much.

Please be kind and considerate and help me to figure this out.
I need support , I have no one I'm very very alone.

Bug hugs 🥰 everything will be okay !
What is the housing situation ? You need to contact women's aid and see what support is available to you. It will be massive changes but changes that allow you to be the best version of yourself, bot for you and the kids.

What access to funds / income do you have ?

First of all, I am so sorry you are in the position, I know how scary and lonely it is and even though you know deep down what you need to do, it's not easy.

I was in your position a few years ago, although my DC was three. My ex was abusive in the ways you describe, plus there were some other issues (addiction and violence). But there were also good times.

Anyway I desperately wanted another baby but we weren't trying as I knew it wasn't the right time. But then I found out I was pregnant. I was absolutely distraught because I knew I couldn't have another baby with this man. I actually made the heartbreaking decision to have an abortion, but it was also the catalyst for me leaving him. This is the best thing I've ever done. I'm not saying you should consider an abortion by the way, I just knew I had to do this otherwise I'd be even more trapped and I needed to be able to support me and my DC.

All I will say is I never thought I'd be as happy as I am now. Even in the early days following the split the relief was incredible. Yes it was hard being a single parent, but like you I was doing everything anyway. My ex continued to see DC every other weekend so I actually got more of a break than before. I now have an amazing new partner who treats me amazingly and does everything 50/50 - both with my DC and now we have our own baby. I'm telling you this as I never, ever thought this would happen.

I know it's daunting but you need to give yourself the chance to be happy and free of this man. He will not change. You and your DC(s) deserve better, and even if you are on your own, I promise that IS better for both you and your kids.

Who owns the property you live in..do you have access to money.