My husband doesn’t want sex

[menopausalminnie1]

He’s a bit of a gaslighter. He says he wants sex, but never actually initiates it. I’ve stopped initiating after too much rejection. We had a period of time about a year ago that was amazing as he took some supplements that worked wonders. But he’s stopped taking them. I’m 55, he is 52. No idea what to do, I definitely don’t want to be celibate for fucks sake! Any tips on how to get us back on track??

Have you had a calm chat with him maybe say you'd like things to be as they were. It may be his tostesterone has dropped ask him to get bloods done. Odd though because he's saying he's interested. When you say he says he wants it, do you say come on then, then what happens? Have you asked him why he does that? Me personally I'd stop even being interested but make it clear that your not willing to live an unfulfilled life with him. If you want to save your marriage first step is a blood test then if that's fine get a sex therapist. Sexless marriage is the pits I know I'm no longer interested now I used to have a very healthy sex life. We've been together 5 years he's piled on loads of weight it doesn't matter to me at all but I think it's bothering him the more he feels down the more he eats falls asleep on sofa it's dreadful I don't bother at all my drive has pretty much gone now yet he's trying but I resent him. I keep fit take care of myself and we've gone from mad crazy passion which I tried to keep sexy messages etc to him being I've got you now so I'll be lazy. We got it back before we got married but I resent him since we got married it's probably been 4 times in 1.5 years and to be honest I feel uncomfortable with him it's like starting over all again that unknown feeling when your with someone new. I used to think he was a cheat I've never ever experienced this in my life. My ex husband couldn't keep his hands off me. It's very hurtful I know but just realise it's their problem not yours. I'm very close to ending it just going to see if he ruins Christmas again then I'll know. Good luck x

Perhaps an open conversation where you explain how the rejection makes you feel and how you don't want a sexless relationship.

You could suggest that he sees a GP for an exploration into possible causes such as stress, medication, low testosterone or heart issues.

However ultimately, if he doesn't want to there's nothing you can do. You could suggest opening up the relationship, accept celibacy or find someone more compatible.

Sorry, just reading some older posts on here. Was Christmas ruined? And if so what happened? I hope things became better for you x