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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

15 years single

1 reply

PeppyShaker · 25/11/2024 20:30

Hi everyone, I just wanted to vent about being single for 15 years, I’m a single parent to 2 children, my last rship was 2010 and I’ve had a few flings here and there, but nothing serious, I’m 48 now and feel like no one is interested n me, I’ve been told I’m attractive, I’ve a warm personality and yeah I can be a bit reserved as been on my own for so long, it’s was through choice I stayed single as last rship was very toxic and abusive and had to leave him, he passed away years ago he was a horrid person but still my daughter never knew her dad, I’ve tried to date past 5 years on/off and I’ve met some not so nice men, thought I met a guy that was the one to be an absolute psychopath, he had ED issues and blamed me and told people about it as if I was the issue, was called ugly and wanted to see me again, I really don’t know how I’m attracting these horrible men, I’ve not had sex in 5 years and last time I did it was dreadful, I’m absolutely scared of being vulnerable at the same time I’d love a fulfilling healthy rship, so I’ve been single 15 years and not had sex in 5 years(I don’t like one night stands, been there done that, hate being used) I feel like there is something wrong with me or maybe men think I’m not attractive and think I’m easy, which I ain’t, is there anyone that has been single this long and not had intimacy for a long time and how did you overcome this, I feel I’m getting too old and over the hill, my eldest is 15 soon and I feel I need to start having a life now as have concentrated on my youngest on my own since she was born, any suggestions on what to do Thankyou

OP posts:
noobiedoobie · 26/11/2024 07:01

Your mindset sounds a bit bruised by your experiences or past. I'd say work on thinking about the future you are trying to create for yourself long term, less focus on the thoughts of being single for so long etc. It then becomes easier.

I'm 44 and been single 12 years but I feel really positive about the future, even if I stay single I know I'll be fine emotionally, financially etc. This part has been key for me.

I don't think I'd get too intensely focused on dating, just look more for friends and if it grows into something more then great, if not you've met friends. That's my philosophy anyway.

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