Friend not listening

[Bonkersworknonsense]

A good friend of mine will often during chatting tune out and then ask me to repeat details over and over again. So say she asks “did you enjoy seeing family on your trip”, and I say “yes, it was great seeing my niece, Jane.” “Who is Jane?” “My niece.” “What relation is she to you?” “She’s my brother’s daughter.” “Ah, was it nice seeing your …?” “Yes, it was very nice seeing my niece again.” “How is she related to you?” And on and on.

Is this odd? It seems odd. Sometimes I wonder a bit if she’s getting dementia (we’re both in our 60’s). She’s clever in some ways, kind, but cannot seem to follow what seems to me quite straightforward concepts.

I am not judging. Concerned and also baffled.

Is it a new behaviour?

Another possibility could be autism, linked to reassurance. She knows the answers to the questions so there is a reassurance in asking them over ans over again knowing she'll get the same answers.

She's stressed and or losing her memory.

She perhaps needs a hearing test!

I would gently suggest you have noticed a change in her behaviour and offer to go to the dr with her.

could definitely be hearing related. i would kindly bring it up and offer to help

A stressed or particularly busy person with ADHD, she will need to make herself focus hard on the information to take it in and will still struggle if her mind is hectic.

Memory loss

If this is new behaviour it's concerning. This is how we first realised my mum was starting with dementia.

Is autism something that can develop at 60? I genuinely don’t know.

I think the other suggestions are more likely. Hopefully not dementia. That would be hard to broach with her.

Hearing problems might explain it if she doesn’t want to admit she may be going deaf. That may be why she’s not comprehending your repeated explanations, she might not be hearing them properly. I would broach that with her because, from experience with my friend, it wasn’t deafness only wax buildup easily resolved with an over the counter treatment.

But if you think she’s confused or not processing what she is hearing dehydration in older people can look like dementia. If she has mobility problems, has found she needs to pee more frequently at night etc. she might be deliberately reducing her fluid intake.

It’s worrying though, isn’t it? I hope you can help her get it resolved. You’re a good friend.

@Lurkingandlearning autism is not something you 'develop' ever. You are born with autism or you do not have autism.