I know nothing about my grandparents

[paperchain]

or my father for that matter

should I try to find out for the DC sake?

or for my sake come to think of it?

Most of hte time I dont give it a second thouhgt, but sometimes, like now, I wonder...

snap. did you used to be dropinthe? (I used to be mummytosteven). My father died when I was ten so that has made the decision for non-contact more straightforward.

no I used to be naswm and then phoenixsoaring...

my father left when I was 2. So I know nothin about his parent. My mothers mother dies when she was 5 and her father when I was 4

just i remembered that I had discussed fatherlessness with dropinthe a few years previously! I did ponder getting in touch with grandparents for the sake of DS, but I can't face the risk of rejection.

but it might not meant rejections....

I dont have any. alive to contact tho

I think it's a good idea to find out to satisfy your own curiosity and also if you or your DC ever fall ill with a hereditary disease or condition, (fingers crossed this will never happen, sorry to be so morbid!), if the Doctor's ask if there's a history of it in the family, you will know. Think this is quite important with things like Breast Cancer, where it can be treated earlier if a history is known?
As long as you don't have too high expectations so that whatever the outcome you will not be disappointed, but I think it sounds quite exciting! You may be linked to royalty or something!

asww thnaks RaspberrySheep (cool name btw!) but the hereditory thing is quite fundamental lol but its more the scial thing that gets me going - what ereh they like?!?!? I have been on teh 1901 census - but htat goes back to great grandparents and I dont even have their full namesa but I want t5o kjnow..........

i'm about to go to bed (long day) but i'll pop back into this thread tomorrow.

i have recently had contact from my dad after 30 odd years.

I don't know my biological father and have no desire to.

But then I have my adoptive father, my dad, so there is no gap.

quennrollo dso come back

madonna - adoptive father sounds FAB!!! but what about the bioliogical roots?

What about them?

i've always been curious about my paternal grandfather.my Dad was born out of wedlock-as they used to say in the 1930s!Not only that,his mum had another son to the same man who was married to another woman.Although Dad was always very open about this with me-he has dementia now-,I've always wondered about my uncle (who was adopted in the IOM)and whether i've got any cousins. the likelihood of ever finding out is doubtful now though.

I see your point about the social thing Paperchain, I'm not too clued up about tracing people, but I know that Friends Reunited and 192.com are good sites to get started on, even if you manage to trace younger relatives of your Grandparents, they may be able to tell you lots of interesting info about them? and of course they will be your relatives too!
Also, I think this site www.ukbmd.org.uk is quite a good one, also maybe your local Registry Office can give you some advice on how to search for people? Things like if you discover your Grandpa was in the forces, then you can trace him step by step and fit the jigsaw pieces together that way.
Good luck and let us know how you get on! x

i'm back.....

my dad left when i was about two. I didn't meet his side of the family until i was 22. They had no idea where my father was, as he'd not just left me but gone off travelling and lost contact with them after about 1983.
I have looked for him half-heartedly over the last ten years, and this February received contact from him via e-mail. It was totally out of the blue and a very strange time in my life, when my whole world has changed beyond recognition.

I'd resigned myself to never finding him, and have welcomed the chance to get to know him. I do have a wonderful 'dad', who has been with my mum since i was three.....and my biological father can never replace him.
I have felt a sense of completeness having finally spent many long e-mails getting to know my father.

Some things have been revealed which have made me say 'ah, now this/that/the other makes sense' especially my struggle with depression over the years, which is a condition my father is well acquainted with. He did mention a medical issue that needed to be discussed with my mother in the last letter he sent, but his family never tried to get in touch. His doctor had told him he needed to make any offspring aware of this depression as it is likely to be an inherited trait.

i don't want to waffle too much, so ask away if you want to know things, and if you'd rather do it off the board then i can give you my e-mail address.

(if i remember correctly aren't you in the Support after a break up thread Paperchain?)

terribly sorry, I misunderstood, I thought there were live relatives. in my case i think there is a high risk of rejection as my mother was unmarried and I get the impression that my father claimed that I wasn't his, so his parents may have believed him over my mum, and also there is/was a lot more stigma to being an unmarried mother in my mother and father's religious community than the average.

It doesn't sound like it would do any harm to dig a bit further into their background, but obviously there will be a limit in terms of time and money you can spend.