I split up with my ex 3 years ago. I've since bought a nice bungalow, 5 mins from hers (but far enough out the way so we never cross paths) and made it a home for me and our children. She still lives in the origional family home.
She's a horribly controlling woman. However, I've managed to extract myself out of her control about pretty much everything apart from the kids. When we split, but before I bought the bungalow, she said we'd have the kids 50/50. Once I bought the bungalow she went back on that and insisted it was 6 nights with me out of every 14. The sticking point is me having them on a Sunday night, every other weekend, when they've come back to mine after school on Friday.
I've got an amazing relationship with all of my children. It really is great with all of them so that extra Sunday night doesn't really matter (tho it kills me financially). But it triggers me every other Sunday when I have to send them back to her for no reason. It's the horrible control that she used to have on me that gets replayed over and over again. And I've got at least another decade of this to come.
In the past year both Cafcass and Social Services have investigated my relationship with the children and have both concluded our children want to be with me. The most recent investigation revealed the boys, perhaps typically, wanted to live with me more than their mum.
How have people in similar situations got over this. It's hard because if the kids obviously preferred to live with her it would be easy...but they don't. I have to be civil and flexible and forgiving with their mum. And I try! But it's hard because I can't reconcile it in my head.
Any advice is really appreciated!