Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Please help - bullying exH - how do I get over this?

2 replies

Feelingdesperate · 24/11/2024 12:38

I will keep this brief. But basically my exH left when my dc was little. It was a traumatic time but we muddled through and communicated on dc related matters. We had private arrangement re child support. Time moved on and dc is 18. Not in any way financially independent and will not be for a very long time (living with me). ExH said a while back that when DC turned 18 he would stop financial support as before but would give some money to DC and a lump sum to me. (ExH is very wealthy.) when the time came he said he had changed his mind.

i sent him some messages asking him to honour his earlier promise. Nothing nasty - just asking him to reconsider. He has completely blocked me and today has sent me a really threatening message saying that I was harassing him and he would go to court to get an order against me!!

I am pretty sure that is nonsense but I am just feeling really unsettled and quite sad as I tried so hard to keep things amicable for so many years. What makes it even worse is that dc is ND and I think will need some emotional and practical support and I thought that as parents we should communicate to do that.

how do I just try to put this out of my mind? I am a strong, capable woman, but this has left me feeling like someone has stomped all over me.

OP posts:
Neveragain35 · 24/11/2024 12:43

The best advice I ever had when dealing with exH is you can’t argue with crazy. We would go back and forth with me trying to get him to see reason and him saying the most hurtful things or backtracking on agreements we had made.

If you didn’t get anything in writing I would let it go. Yes it is shit and unfair, but there is nothing you can do and there is freedom in just deciding not to engage with him anymore. DC is an adult now, unfortunately exH does not have to give him a penny if he doesn’t want to.

Focus on yourself and your DC and don’t give this wanker a second thought.

Feelingdesperate · 24/11/2024 12:50

@Neveragain35 thank you - the words “you can’t argue with crazy” made me smile as that is exactly it. I just need to move on and never look back.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page