What should I do?

[Kaybayx]

Hiya ladies, I dont know if this belongs here but I dont know where else to go for advice. Basically I had a 'gut feeling' that my boyfriend of 8 months had been cheating on me so I went through his phone one night (I know I shouldnt of, big invasion of privacy bu t I had to know) and he has signed up to multiple dating apps and was speaking to multiple women (and sending pics) and on one site he was asking to meet up at a hotel and paying for nude pictures/videos. Im just so shocked and hurt by this. I dont know how to tell him I know about this because I have to tell him I went through his phone. How do I handle this? I need to break up with him, right?

Yes. You deserve much better.

I’m so sorry OP.

Yes you need to break it off. If you don’t , he will , just as soon as he’s managed to persuade one of these women to start sleeping with him.

In my experience men like to line someone else up before they go. Dating apps have made this very easy.

I wouldn’t even bother telling him how you found out or even that you know at all. I’d just say ‘It isn’t working for me anymore and I am sure you feel the same.’ If he argues you can say, ‘well why have two of my friends seen you on tinder then?’ Also I would do it on text and then block if he argues.

Paying for nudes? Sleazy as fuck. Well done for finding out. You’ve saved yourself from wasting one more minute with this creep.

Bin him off and don’t look back.

💐

You don’t have to tell him you’ve gone through his phone. He’s been utterly disrespectful to you so he doesn’t deserve honesty in return. Tell him you’re not happy, haven’t been for some time and you want to end things. Then grey rock if he persists. Normally I’d say a partner deserves at least a conversation about the relationship but he doesn’t.

Just ghost him or say you need more space

Tell him something feels off about him and you don't fancy him any more. You can't put your finger on it so see ya!

Bruise his ego good and proper.

Dump and block. FWIW I would tell him that I went through his phone.

I would just message him ending it because you don't fancy him any more and find him inadequate.

Break up with him asap

"I've seen you're chasing other women on dating apps and paying for nudes - it's given me the proper ick tbh and its really put me off you. Its quite unattractive to know your other half is still behaving like some hormonal horny teenage boy. I'd much prefer to be with an adult who's matured past that pathetic stage. Sorry, this isn't going to work"

Then block

It'll hurt and you'll be heartbroken for a while, but don't cave in. Because this isn't what you signed up to. He's a lying slimy creep stringing you along. Knock him down a peg or two!

I'd just end the relationship. If he wanted to know why I would probably just say I knew he was on the dating apps and I wasn't okay with that. If he denied, I'd just say I wasn't okay with dating a liar either.

I would let him know you’ve seen them them block him, you’re only 8 months in, it should be the honeymoon period

Dump him.

@Kaybayx, why would you even consider staying with this sleazy cheat who is hunting for illicit sex and thrills? Investigating his phone to learn the truth about your relationship doesn’t compare at all to his nasty betrayal and abuse of your trust. Besides, who cares what he thinks? He’s a lying womanizer who has been making a mockery of you.

Please don’t diminish yourself by clinging to this faithless, dishonest guy, @Kaybayx. He clearly has major character flaws and makes destructive choices. It’s all on him. Send a break-up message, block him, and move on.

I like this idea!

There is absolutely no reason to tell him you know. You’re already hurt and telling him you know runs the risk of him hurting you even more by being dismissive or gaslighting you. Protect yourself from that. And remember he’s not your boyfriend. He was pretending to be your boyfriend so you owe him nothing.

Tell him you’re not feeling it. Or that you’ve met someone else. Walk away with your dignity.