So annoyed

[Livinglikeazombie]

Today I was sat in the car on our drive with my 5 year old DS. DP had run back into the house as he'd forgotten something. Conversation with my DS went like this...
DS- Mummy this isn't your house
Me- what do you mean? We all live here
DS- no, it's daddy's house not yours. Daddy said he pays for the house, so it's his.

Obviously lot of backstory. Partner is awful. I'm just getting upset that he has started involving our child; tells him I'm horrible, blames me for everything.
DP earns 5x what I warn but refuses to work more than part time (barely part time) and has a lot in savings. I have hardly any savings but work full time. I also do every thing in the house as my partner refuses to help with ANYTHING. He spends the day in bed.
He does pay the rent (so not his house either!) but I pay for all the bills, but all our child's clothes, Xmas and birthday presents etc.
It just upsets me he wants me to look bad in front of our son.

What a catch
NOT
URRGH
get rid

I'm sorry
I didn't see your update
Get out with your beautiful child and don't look back
Love to you both x

Is this the so called doctor who does very part time telephone appointments at an outrageous fee?
If so, I can't believe that you're still with him.
Please get therapy, get help but most of all get rid of this horrible man and start to live a twat free life.

@maras2 you must be thinking of someone else.

I feel trapped, I walk around like a zombie and feel lost. I'm exhausted.

You are afraid of him and his reactions and that along with your low self worth and boundaries keeps you there for now.

Your abuser will never love you in the ways you want because he is abusive. He is in turn also emotionally abusing his son by telling him that he blames you for everything.

He will completely destroy you both if you stay. He has no real interest in his kid, he sees him as a possession too. Your fears about him taking the child away from you are completely unfounded and not based on fact, just mere supposition which is wrong.

Do call Womens Aid and plan your exit from
this with care. Your safety is of concern.

Did you meet this man when you were vulnerable or otherwise at a low point in your life?. He targeted you and deliberately so to abuse you.

OH MY DAYS THE PART-TIME DOCTOR AGAIN?!

What the fuck is wrong with you that you are still there, subjecting your children to an abusive environment and making yet another thread under another name?!

You are taking the piss out of yourself, your kids and posters here who have given you advice over the past 5/6 years over hundreds of threads!

At least have the decency to signpost it's you so posters know not to waste their time offering advice, as you obviously intend to do absolutely nothing to help yourself or your abused young sons.

Your boys need SS involvement now.

You can't argue with a narcissist...
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/5187008-you-cant-argue-with-a-narcissist

The fact that he only works part time and/or is funded by his parents still isn't the point. Nor is the fact that he 'hardly works' as far as what he earns in a few hours vs your full time hours earnings. It's kind of a red herring to what I think is your actual issue.

What I think you're trying to convey is that he has more 'empty hours' than you do and thus should be carrying more of the domestic load. I agree 100%. BUT sounds to me that his attitude is "I earn more so am entitled to do less". Trust me, you're never going to be able to change that.

He equates money with 'worth'. He is 'worth more' because he earns more. You are 'worth less' because you earn less. And because you are 'worth less' you are the one who should do the donkey work because, you know, he is 'worth more' than you.

Again, you aren't going to change that. He is who he is and his attitude works for him, doesn't it? So what you need to decide is whether or not you're going to stay or go. If you stay, do so with the full knowledge that this will be your life for the next 20-30-40 years. If you leave, well, I don't know how it will affect your day to day life financially or how much it will alter your standard of living. Or what his feelings would be as far as having the DC or paying maintenance. But I will tell you this, the lifting of the load of anger and resentment and lessening of your workload by not having to clean up after him and do his laundry will be huge.

Of course it's him/her.

Don't be so disingenuous OP, your posts are recognisable a mile off!!

At least have the decency to admit it's you, you've got some nerve to pretend it isn't.

Your poor kids. He's emotionally abusing the older one especially.

Contact Women's Aid, you can email then if you don't have the privacy or spare time to call.

They can point you in the direction of local help but more importantly they can help you make sense of what is happening. I can give you a little clue though
< whispers - you are being abused by a very horrible man >

Leave him in HIS house and build yourself a life before this escalates

Is this a suspected previous poster ?

How to start this conversation... www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/5093275-how-to-start-this-conversation

Tip of the iceberg ladies. Don't waste your time offering help, all the OP wants is a way to get to his money.

You're experiencing coercive control. It is profoundly destructive and wears you down to the point where you feel you can't leave. Support from someone who understands CC is important, this will help you understand his behaviours that have done this to you. Leaving isn't a one-off event. You can start finding resources and people to support you in the process.

The link below is a series you can watch on you tube, and it also covers how, when coercive controllers target their partner they will also be targeting the children too - as your child has already shown you. So you do need to work towards a plan got safety, for the sake of your child as well as yourself.

Absolutely, get out!! For your sake and the sake of your child. You don’t need nor deserve this - nobody does!! He is abusing you. Put your long term health and sanity first, so you can set the best example for your DC on what is and what is not respectable or acceptable behaviour.

Thread is from last November…