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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Marriage crisis

3 replies

Rnh · 22/11/2024 09:46

I’ve been with my husband for 11 years but first got together 15 years ago but was to soon after my divorce. so we parted ways and in that time I had some rebound flings. We have two children aged 10 and 4 and and I have an 18 year old daughter from the previous marriage. During these years things have been difficult he didn’t treat my daughter very well for a while due to jealousy.she was 10 at the time went on for a couple of years was going to leave him then he changed and it stopped and there closer now.I’m not easy to deal with at times as I do suffer with mental health compulsions/ocd so does my daughter but we’re both on tablets/therapy and in a good place with that now. but due to this he resents me and mainly resents my past partners and he’s so caught up with bitterness that he talks down to me everyday belittles me makes me feel not worthy maybe I’m to blame but I can’t help what I suffer with and I can’t help having a past. due to years of this I’ve started going to the gym get more fitter and for my mental well being but the last year and a half I’ve developed a strong attraction for the personal trainer at the gym I was never a client of his though just occasional conversations seems a lovely person which is what I was mainly attracted to he constantly looks at me holds he’s gaze smiles any how I told him I’m attracted to him he was smiling like a treasure cat and said to me “it’s high risk you could lose everything” maybe he was just being friendly I was reading wrong signals although didn’t seem like it but is true what he said as my husband also uses that same gym. Does this mean my marriage is dead?do I work on it? I Feel guilt confusion appreciate advice thanks 🙏

OP posts:
Amarige · 22/11/2024 10:21

Your marriage is dead as neither of you can overcome past problems and hold deep resentment towards each other.

You mention having flings and now an attraction to another man and it seems these men are only interested in sex not a lasting relationship so you need to knock them on the head and understand that sexual gratification does not equal lasting love.

Rnh · 22/11/2024 10:41

I had flings 15 years ago after my first divorce that’s why it didn’t work with my current partner at that Time so we separated and got together 4 years later once I was over the past marriage. Since then in 11 years of being together never had an affair neither of us other then this attraction recently at the gym

OP posts:
Rnh · 22/11/2024 10:42

Which is making me feel guilt

OP posts:
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