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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Anxious about relationship - how to stop thoughts???

1 reply

Aperolsprizter · 22/11/2024 09:40

Hello,
Ive been in a relationship with a lovely, supportive man for five months. He’s attentive and interested and there for me in a way I’ve never had before.

BUT I can’t stop worrying that he’s going off me or doesn’t love me any more. I think this is down to the natural attrition of settling into each other - we see each other all the time so don’t text as much, for example. Something clicked in me recently and I can’t stop worrying that he’s going off me. I know this sounds insane as I can’t tangibly say why I feel like this aside from clearly being anxiously attached.

he hates me asking if he’s still into me etc - he says it’s like a punch to the gut. We had a small argument recently and it spun me out and I had to work really hard not to keep asking.

i know that if i keep doing it ill push him away and i know the things im worried about aren’t rational. Does anyone have any tips on how to self soothe?

I struggle with ocd and health anxiety (which are conditions with similar patterns of needing to act / needing reassurance) and managed to get them under control by breaking the cycle of obsessively googling etc.

TIA!

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 22/11/2024 10:22

Therapy, to work on this, and potentially accepting that until you’ve worked on these things you’re not really ready to be in a relationship.

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