Long one sorry:
Married to DH for 8 years and have a one year old.
I guess before the baby I knew he was a selfish person but I kind of just accepted it and decided to love him for his good parts.
But.. Eff me does having a baby highlight the true difficulties in your marriage!
He is selfish and so self serving it’s unreal. His time is ‘so precious’ and he constantly moans about how tired he is.. how hard he works. Bla bla bla don’t we all!
I’ve got a sinus thing had a chest infection and I’ve been unwell for weeks im on second round of (vile) anti biotics.. I don’t get a cuddle any care or empathy whatsoever off him!
This morning: We alternate mornings to drop baby off at nursery. It was meant to be DH morning drop off today. DH had me up all night he was vomiting and had the runs.. the noise and dramatics out of it. He kept me up most of the night and asked me to do things to help (I get no extra help when unwell). He always leaves water pint glasses at side of the bed and baby toddles in and grabs them gets the floor soaking!
This morning I got up with baby he said ‘babies awake’ I was like hmm it’s your morning but okay you’re unwell I will help.
So I got DS up and as usual he toddled into the bedroom picked up a glass and smashed it. So I had to clean that up … DH still in bed. Baby screaming now because of the situation and he is high energy trying to get at the glass on the floor. So I’m already stressed.
Then I’m getting baby ready as DH was dropping him off and he was like ‘is he ready I’m going to be late’. I just lost it I started shouting about how selfish he is and how unwell I am and he somehow makes it all about him. I get he’s been sick but no one I mean NO ONE rescues me! and as if I care about your lateness he’s always banging on about his job and how it’s so important he can’t be late or off- I’m always the one collecting from nursery when baby is unwell as he absolutely can not leave?!
Then he turned it around and said ‘look at you shouting in a babies face’… honestly how manipulative can you be. He’s a bloody narcissist.. this is just one example of his avoidant/manipulative behaviour where he flips it and makes it about me (after being passive aggressive, failing to perform as an adult human and sighing at me or makes comments about how awful I am).
I know I shouldn’t shout and I feel so guilty for shouting in front of baby.. but I get so upset and I’m so burnt out and I’ve tried talking so many times it’s no use.
I feel deflated, exhausted and unsupported.
Right now I can’t stand him and want to seperate! And it’s not the first time I’ve felt this way.. any guidance or support please? Or am I overreacting ?