My ex keeps coming back to our marital home whenever she wants !

[JesusChristman]

My wife and I split up six months ago. She checked out of the marital home and she found somewhere else to live. We rarely speak only about the children who live at home all older teenagers and mostly self-sufficient. She said she’d continue paying her half because she doesn’t want the kids to lose their house. However it’s starting to bother me how she comes and goes as she pleases. She doesn’t ask me before coming back she just shows up whenever she wants either to see the kids or sort some things out in her office. I have tried speaking to her about it but she doesn’t listen and just carries on doing whatever she wants. Do I have any rights to dictate to her when she can come back or not?

She is really not being fair to you at all. This is bugger all you can do apart from explaining that you have a moral right to be able to move on with your life with privacy.
She needs to empty out her office. Perhaps the kids could also ask her to WhatsApp them when she wants to arrange to see them ?

Are you officially divorced? If so then as part of your financial consent it usually states the other person has no right of access to the family home?
But you also say she is paying half the mortgage - she isn't required to do that and probably gives her justification to still come and go especially with her office being there. It's all really muddy and you should clear out her office and have her pay CMS not the mortgage. If you can't afford it then the house has to be sold

The response would have to be the same. If the ex is paying part of the mortgage nothing changes regardless of sex.

The only thing that might have any bearing on it is if DV and the courts were involved.

It doesn’t matter what sex either party is here, if they both own the property they have equal rights. So one coming and going even if they moved out may be shit for the resident party but it’s legal. Op, you need to sort this out for the longer term - talk to your ex about a solution, presumably they won’t be paying the mortgage but living elsewhere for ever, and a court wouldn’t expect that either - it sounds like you need to sell, split the equity and both move on.

Exactly.

Yup the first post in bold (which I hadn’t seen before on here) immediately made me think of the previous thread. Hope someone’s boredom is being alleviated.

Legally you cannot stop her from entering her own property (joint marital home), so if you hate it that much you have three options.

Buy her share out then the house will be yours.
She buys your share out and you move out.
Sell the house and you move out.

That is it. It would be the same if a husband moved out/wife stayed.

Reading your messages it’s look like the advice is to sell / split / move which was on my mind to. When I mentioned kids they are all working so no Cm comes in to play . Shame really love this house but I suppose nothing last forever including us .

It puzzles me why the person who leaves a partner or spouse when there is a joint mortgage on the property is entitled to enter the property without notice. I get that they are paying towards the mortgage, but it’s no longer their home, at that point it is an investment much like a landlord’s property is an investment. A landlord cannot enter a property they own whenever they feel like it because it’s the tenants home .

I know legally the two situations are viewed differently, I just don’t understand why.

I’m guessing decent people wouldn’t expect to waltz in and out of their ex’s home whenever they felt like it but it does give abusive bastards an opportunity to continue to be abusive in what should be at that stage a safe place.

So are you the same person as the previous thread as your writing is very similar and you bolded your first post?

It’s not ideal but if they own half what can you do. I had to buy out my ex’s share, I couldn’t get a mortgage for full amount so I still owe him another 15k I think I’m going to have to take out a bank loan.

I’ve got no idea what your going on about

Wonder if it's the same poster, who is looking for a date at the age of 51.

OP, post this again but this time say that you’re a woman, and it’s your male ex who keeps coming back. You will get far more constructive replies.

Exactly what I thought.
This is a bit odd...

She’s still paying for half the house so yes she can come and go.

you need to either buy her out or sell up and get your own place.

Course you don’t. Similar usernames too: Blimeyagain and JesusChristman. Oh well sorry for your marital woes.

Yet another coincidence: that other poster also used "your" instead of "you're". You two should meet up; I'm sure you'd be firm friends.

Oh I think you do.

The only legal replies are

He buys her out or
She buys him out (and he moves out) or
They sell and split the equity.

It's nothing to do with who is male or female.