34 weeks pregnant. AIBU

[fedup2471]

I'm 34 weeks pregnant.
Partner isn't the best.

Today he said what have you to eat today

I said a mc Donald's breakfast
2 cheesy flat breads
2 hash brown
Hot chocolate

I hardly ever go to mc d. I'm healthy n skinny before pregnancy.

He's told me having 2 of what I had at mc d today was excessive and it's what fat obese people do. He said it's a heart attack waiting to happen.

I'm 13 stone. 10 stone before pregnant. Really upset me n made me feel crap about myself.

It was just a treat by myself whilst kids were at school. A simple indulge one off.

I've told him it was cruel and upset me
Aibu??

He's an absolute arse, but you already knew that. A treat is fine, but very bluntly you've put on a third of your body weight and still have several weeks to go. 3 stone is 20kg by 34 weeks. Recommended max healthy weight to put on in whole pregnancy is 16kg. It's not a heart attack waiting to happen but you're putting yourself at risk of gestational diabetes.

He's gone about it an awful way and 1000000% you should dump him because he will not be helpful to you postpartum and he is not kind. But if you were my friend I'd be worried about you too, that much extra weight will put a lot of strain on your body.

Fuck that. Tell him as soon as he carries your baby to term he can choose what he eats for breakfast.

Sounds like an absolute idiot.
Eat what you want! Vile man

Christ that's nothing compared to what I used to order in my first pregnancy! 🫣🤣
Enjoy these last few weeks and don't worry about it, he's unkind!! X

You've literally justified what he's said.
Lots of people gain 3-4 stone in pregnancy. The weight is more than just fat.

I mean one meal is not a big deal, but how does this fit in with your general eating at the moment?

There's a difference between him being a dick (you had lots of protein and nutrient rich vegetables for the rest of your day of eating) or it's genuine concern communicated badly (you had nuggets for lunch and pizza for dinner).

Baby is going to be putting on half a pound a week soon, so your weight will continue to rise. With my first, I put on most of the weight in the first 3 months after she was born, because I got myself into bad habits.

Take a general look at your diet and decide.

Please don't be harsh on yourself. Pregnancy is hard enough let alone with a twat of a partner.

Bet it's one rule for him and another for you. I would be very upset if someone said this to me.

My midwife said today my BMI is perfect
I'm very healthy. Meat. Fish. Eggs. Veg. Fruit. Water. I'm extremely healthy. Thanks

Edited because i didn't reply to correct post.

Your partner is not the best at all is he. Given also what you have written about him on other threads I would now prepare to go it alone. Consider also giving this child your surname rather than his.

I'm not, what he said is awful. Calling her names etc. Not appropriate at all. But doesn't mean underlying concern is unwarranted.

Lots of people smoke, lots of people drink excessive alcohol, lots of people are medically obese in general. The fact 'lots of people put on 3-4 stone' doesn't make it healthy. A 9lb baby is 4kg. Even if we were generous and said fluid same and then placenta etc same again that's still only 12kg when OP is on target for 25kg plus weight gain when she was only 60kg before.

He is an arse. She should dump him. But she also needs to take a look at her diet and whether these treats are as occasional as she's claiming because it is a high proportion of her usual weight which will be putting a lot of strain on her body.

You are doing exactly the same as the OP's partner.

OP didn't ask for diet advice and you know nothing about her pregnancy etc.

You are eating for two.

He’s not a natural born diplomat but 3 stone is a lot unless you were underweight before pregnancy. Gaining a lot puts you at risk of labour complications.

I gained 28lb in my second pregnancy and lost 20 at delivery (baby was 10lb). I’m afraid I agree that 3stone is a fair bit

Bloke is still an arse tho.

I gained 4 stone when I was pregnant, most of it was fluid. I lost 2 stone just by giving birth. I ate a lot too because I was sick as a dog if I didn't.

Everyone's pregnancy is different. Everyone's weight gain is different. Everyone's eating preferences are different. But what should be exactly the same is the support from your partner while you're pregnant.

OP, your midwife is happy with you, that's all that matters. Your partner is an arse. Enjoy your pregnancy and enjoy the odd treat.

I do think it depends on how it was said. Was it clearly in a derogatory way? Is he always controlling about what you eat or just that time? Maybe he’s actually worried that you’re overeating. You have to look after yourself during pregnancy.

I have looked after myself. He's done nothing to look after me. He's not even made me one drink!! Trust me he isn't worried about me. He's just horrible. I won't go into detail.

He said 'it's what fat obese people do' which I think is a bit of a clue to his attitudes.

He is rotten and doesn't respect you. You do not deserve this in the lead up to welcoming your baby. I read your post earlier in the month about the abuse you've suffered from him, have you gotten back together with him since then?
It sounds like you have a good awareness of how this relationship is not serving you and what you need to do for yourself and your babies. Sending you strength x