Can anyone shed any light?

[Peekaboo7]

So about 6 months ago, we had a big change in our lives and we had to start doing things differently. We had worked together for the last 8 years until the company we worked for went into liquidation forcing us both to find alternative work.
DH hours are longer job is a little easier than the last he's earning more to which he said he didn't mind me getting part time work so I can keep ontop of the house, cooking, shopping etc
My job has funny hours one week I work 5pm till midnight the other week I work 3am till 10am with 1 day off in the week

In the last couple of weeks I've noticed him being really snappy and moody I literally can't say anything without him biting my head off.
For example, I text him one night last week just saying that I appreciate everything he's doing and does for us and I love him for being the man he is. Well, anyone would have thought I just slapped his grandmother with his reaction he said, thanks for what thanks for being cold and tired thanks for working longer hours. Obviously I didn't reply I just left him to it but it made me feel like crap.
He holds it over me all the time the fact that now he's working longer hours. Yeah, I know I'm only part time but that was his suggestion, I'm still contributing plus doing everything in the house just for him to bite my head off.
When we do have time together now he's quiet, like he can't be bothered so I sit quiet because I darent say anything because it's always the wrong thing.
I understand that he's tired and I understand that it's been so hard for both of us from working together to barely seeing eachother at all now. What I don't understand is, why be a d!ck with me?
He comes home to a spotless house, no stress of having to go shopping all the washing has been washed dried and put away, fresh home cooked meal every night smiling wife happy to see him.

What's happening?

Offer to work longer hours, to reduce the financial pressure on him, but give him a list of his 50% of the house work he’s going to have to do.

Thanks for replying.

I already suggested that, he said he's happy with how we're doing things.

Then you need to speak to him and tell him that he can’t treat you that way when it’s what he’d agreed to. You can’t live your life walking on eggshells, it will affect you mentally.

I've tried, he just falls out with me. I asked him a simple question yesterday just on the back of something he said because it wasn't clear what he meant and he said why what have I said now. So I just sat there amazed at his reaction and said why do you act like I'm attacking you all the time I'm just asking to make sure that's all.
Then he walked off.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

I hate to say it, but you need to consider if this is how you want to live. Some would talk about the script and how he’s pushing you away while blaming you.

He's always been a bit snappy and moody since I met him but it was never really directed at me if you know what I mean it was always just in general. Now it's all coming in my direction.
Maybe it's the work thing as I said we worked together for 8 years everything has changed.

Eggshells is a good word. That's exactly how I feel.
He's not even phoned me this morning, he normally phones for a chat on his way to work or at least texts me when he gets there, I've had nothing.

Do you think he thought he would be ok with you working less, but now feels resentful?

I’d guess he’s met someone else too, sorry.

My first thought was wondering if he's got his eye on someone else, especially as you said you'd offered to increase your hours but he said he's happy with the way things are. It must be driving you crazy.

Possibly a work crush at the new job. Either way he's a dick isnt he so I'd be telling him to shape up or ship out. Other option is his mental health is poor so establish that first and see if he's willing to address it. Otherwise sounds like the change has highlighted you've grown apart

Is is possibly the script.

Be vigilant and try not to react.
If you do and he starts to offer you to: "'leave if you are not happy then" he's definitely got a wandering eye.

This is what they do. 😶

Yes given that you worked together for 8 years and he is used to working with a person he is in a relationship with I wonder if he has started to form an attachment at his new job.
What ever is the cause you can't continue to live with his current behaviour towards you. It's not fair on you. You really will have to have the conversation about how something has to change or else the relationship is over.

I honestly don't think there's anyone else, its all men at his workplace. There's 1 woman who works in the office but he's always on the shop floor. Cheating is not something I'm concerned about.
He's probably just worn out with the longer hours but it doesn't excuse the way he's speaking to me. He's told me he's tired.

He may well have had his head turned by another woman.

He saying that he is tired is no excuse or justification for how he is treating you now. Your work time hours are chaotic to say the least (is this a job you want to remain in?) and you are undoubtedly tired too.