Think the end has come for me and dh but I dont know what the hell to do.

[Whataloadofoldsheep]

am a regular too but dont want to be known atm.

Dh and I just had a big row, he threw one of his tops at me, then threw a bag of shopping at the fire, cue me not talking to him, dh threatened to see a solictor about a divorce yet again, has said he doesnt want to go on holiday with us next week and to get one of our parents to go instead and he's cleared the spare room out so he can sleep in it i presume. He's never done that before.

my head feels like someones stuck a spoon in and swished it about.

i dont know what to do really. i dont think i have the energy to carry on like this anymore.

its always good to know where you stand re: finances

don't inflame him further - but quietly try to get hold of all the important paper work.

start keeping a file with bills in
car documents
passports
bith certificates
marriage certificate
gas, electirc, poll tax, water tax, insurance mot, tv licence, telephone, mobile contracts,cable or sky, banks crds, credit cards

you might make up

you might not

you might spend years having this kind of relationship full of turmoil

you might one day want to leave.

well dont leae with nothing, no bank account no money and no legal standing

go to www.moneysavingexpert.com. you can post about divorce and lots of people will give you fnancial advice

have a free session with a solicitor write out your enquiries in advance

see if you can talktoany for dree over the phone

then check if you would be entitled to any benefits www.entitledto.com
start saving a litle away into another bank account

Is this an on going thing? What i mean is, do you normally have a good relationship?

sorry this is happening.
Have you had any kind of marriage guidance or been able to talk to friends?
It's a lonely feeling isn't it!

Good honest and practical advice yet again from you Custy. Thank you.

I have my own bank account. Theres nothing in it but child benefit, child tax is in my name so I can swap that to go into my sole account.
I dont drive and my family are about 30 miles away.
Its going to mean moving back there as I have nothing here for me.

Loopy, he has major anger problems. never ever violent towards me and never would.
a couple of months back he threw our laptop across the room and then jumped on it because he couldnt get something to work on it.
I went mad at him for it because not only had he broke the laptop but he'd also caught the ceiling light so had broke that too.
It just made him more cross so he jumped up and pulled it off the ceiling while the light was on causing bits of broken bulb to fall on me and one of my ds's whilst I was feeding him.
Thankfully the other two were in bed.

Pellmell, i dont really have any friends.

i have one that i know through her working with my dh. her dd is the same age as my middle child and she is actually coming on holiday with us.
She knows what my dh is like but she'll be gutted if i tell her that dh has said he's not going and tbh i dont really want to go now.

oh and to top it off, hes gone to work now until late tonight so i feel like i'm left in limbo.

have just had a look at entitled to and the local council website.

what is the deal with council housing?
would we be given priority?
i wouldnt want to stay where we are and although my parents would have us it could only be for short while.

will be back later.
please don't feel alone.
I'm off to work now, just wanted to let you know I've read your posts.

you take care

hi ((((((((((whata)))))))))))

i would also add to custardo's advice, if i may custy?

the file thing is a very good idea but make sure you can keep it in a place that is known only to you and absolutley no chance whatsoever of him stumbling on it. also, when you check sites on the internet, presumably this is on a home pc? make sure you delete the websites from the history list but make sure that you do leave non-relevant ones on there. this is how i caught out xp when he was vsiting local porn sites.

go to citizens advice bureau and ask there.

the lone parent helpline - www.oneparentfamilies.org.uk/helpdesk
0800 018 5026 mon-fri 9-5 and weds 9-8pm

you can also post on lone parents thread too xxx

He's never been violent to you but he threw his jumper at you? And he smashed a lightbulb over your head? Doesn't sound long before he'll be throwing harder things at you to be honest. You are right to be looking at other places to be, that is not an environment to bring children up in, and it's not safe for you either.

if his actions are intimidating ad are meant to be ( you think) then he needs some help

No, it's not the place to bring up children. Reminds me of my dad, and it is very very scary to watch this stuff when you're a child.