Dating post divorce with children - complicated!

[Sanabel]

Hi all

I'm looking for some support as to make the right decision with regards to my relationship.

I have 3 children age 3-8 who I co parent 50/50 with my ex wife .

I have been dating a women also with 3 children who are 6,9 and 14 who lives an hour away. We have been dating now 8 months and what was meant to be totally casual has now turned into us both catching feelings and just really loving being together. We see each other every other weekend and once in the week and she has her children 98% time with her ex having them alternate weekends.
We get on incredibly well and have the same ideas around gentle / attachment parenting.

However as much as I love her I cannot foreee away of us being together , she has talked about moving here when her teenager is 18 but I can't imagine ripping her other children away from their friends and family , and I have read some many horror stories on here about blended families , let alone the pressure of relocation in that .

i live in a small town and it's been largely impossible to meet any other gay women , let alone my age (41) with kids . I have dated women without children but I felt they didn't understand what it was really like to have children . I feel like I'm going to be single forever .

it feels like a huge ball of complications and I keep thinking about ending it which then leaves me feeling heartbroken but we both need to put our children first and I can't see a way forward .

Do I end it now before we become even more committed and it gets even more messy ?

I'm a single parent with 100% care of a 12 year old. I've been in a LDR for 3 years and have accepted that this is how it's going to be for the foreseeable future - at least 6 more years. I've made peace with that and although I do wish I could spend a lot more time with my partner - I also enjoy all the positives of the arrangement. Our own space, autonomy, the joy of reunion and sex remaining very exciting because it is less frequent.

I've been with my partner years, we met when divorced with kids etc. Didn't fancy the potential obvious nightmares inflected on kids re blended families, and neither of us were broke or selfish enough to drive it through, so we just kept it to weekends and get away breaks together.
Years later and both of us no longer have kids in the house... but we're still doing the same thing ie keeping it to weekend and get away breaks!
The older one gets, the less appealing it is to start mixing money and living quarters and having to adjust weekday career-time focus for a partner... and that's before you even consider all the mundane business of splitting chores and all that boring rubbish.
So what's wrong with you both just keeping it for weekends and get away breaks?

Thank you both .

it's good to know LDR is possible and works for some .

Although if we waited til the kids were all 18 it would be 15 years !