Why has my partner played down his past relationship

[Leah1988123]

So my partner and I met in 2016 when he had the lose conversation about our last relationships he shared that he had one relationship when he was 21 for two years he shared that it ended badly and he was young immature and could have treated her better he admitted that he left her. He volunteered information such as it was a stressful time, not a typical relationship they didn’t do much together or share sentimental moments ect and that whilst he did move in with her they spent majority of their time apart always arguing him leaving to go to his mums.

as time went on he was extremely complimentary towards our relationship saying that he had never felt love before expect his mother and it things we shared did together was all brand new.

fast forward few years he confessed that he did have feelings for his ex and he lied because he didn’t want me thinking he had emotional baggage in fact they went on holiday together, were very socials I found loads of pictures of them together including family members of his and her friends.

he continues to say that he did leave her but it was a very confusing time for him being young and it being his first relationship.

i cannot help but feel he lied and played thier relationship down because he wasn’t over her entirely and got himself in a. Pickle as time progressed with me. Have l been gaslite or am I overthinking something that is none of my business anyway.

I think the later. His prior relationship isn't your buisness. It sounds like he told you enough.

It would have been weird if he'd told you about still having feelings for his ex when he was looking to date you.

That being said, why is he bringing it up now?
And tbf it is weird if he was like, going for ice cream with you and being like 'I've never had ice cream with a date before' and then you come accross pictures of them both eating ice cream.

I get that that's odd.

But I mean, surely you know when people say 'oh my ex and I did nothing but argue' it doesn't mean that literally. Like, they were together.

I'd be cautious of anyone blowing smoke up my ass like 'I've never met anyone like you before...' it's usually bs.

And gaslighting doesn't really apply.

Unless, for example, he is now denying lies he told you about his ex like 'I never said that. You're imagining things'.

Then it would be gaslighting.

As is he's just telling you actually he did have feelings for his ex when you started dating and their relationship was more than just arguing...I mean, duh on the later one anyway. And so long as he's over her now then it's fine surely.

@Pinkbonbon
refreshing to hear thank you! I mean we did go through a period where he just overshared information I normally wouldn’t need to know for example for her birthday I brought her adel concert tickets which tuned out in fact not to be true and I didn’t overthink it and just put it down to his immaturity and trying to impress me. When I asked why he said this he would say say just that and endorse the fact they did nothing and it was such a dead relationship. So I think in my mind it’s more about the inconsistency around that part of his life.

we would go someone and he would say I’ve never done this or been here when he actually had. Then he would say he said things to impress me then later I find out it was true. Odd and confusing for sure but rolled with it as it’s past.

were now at a point where he is not lying about any of it and is owning the fact he lied in the past out of immaturity.

we’ve beeb together 8 years and whilst it shouldn’t matter I can’t help but feel blindsided all this time we’ve had conversations! Conversations that shouldn’t be happening but because of inconsistency continue to be brought up.

I am a bit of an overthinker so just wanted some fresh perspective on this