Dating overweight

[Itsblackfriday]

I've been friends with a man at work. We laugh a lot. He is clinically obese. last year had a health scare with his heart. He called me first he was very scared. I told him call ambulance

Hospital told him he diabetic could have heart attack or stroke in future. He must lose weight. Since he has been going to the gym daily but has lost half a stone all year?

last night he told me can we date. And I like him. His personality. But not his health. If normal weight not obese no health scare I would say yes. But I am not sure. I'm scared he will sick or die. Honest I'm little overweight too by 1 stone. not a lot. Is selfish? or I give him chance?

Yeah I'd date him, why not?

As long as he isn't trying to get his foot under the table with you becoming live-in long term nurse in the future I don't see what the problem is.

Go have a few dates with him. You might enjoy it.

It's really about how you feel, isn't it? Anyone can die at any moment, although of course with obesity there are much greater risks.

Does he make you feel giddy? Give you butterflies? Do you see qualities that could make him a good partner? Have you thought about dating him before he asked?

Are you being honest about why you might not want to date him? Obv you say the health/loss aspect, but are you being totally honest with yourself? I have an obese friend whom I dearly love but he also has multiple health issues (sleeps with a machine to help him breathe, can't be very active day-to-day) and honestly I can't think of myself with him as I think those things would put me off. I'm quite active and want similar energy from a partner.

Then there's the 'at work' aspect - will it get weird if it doesn't work out?

I'm actually trying to be encouraging here! But don't be guided just by your fear of loss, be guided by what you really want and how you truly feel. It seems like you are hyper focused on the obesity and not the entire person.

Anyone else read that in a Borat voice?

Yes sometimes I think why not

He make me feel happy and good. He really care for me. I like him too. He try to be active since hospital. I don't know about sleeping. Will ask. Good point thank you

Do you fancy him? Want to kiss him, hug him, shag him? Does he make you laugh, do you have things in common, does he interest and excite you, do you know want to know more about him, do you think about him when you haven’t seen him for a while? That’s the good stuff.

Is he obese or morbidly or super morbidly obese?

I wouldn’t date someone who was too overweight to do the activities I enjoy

I wouldn't date someone very overweight. I would be worried we would have a sedate lifestyle and l would get very overweight too.

Yes we laugh a lot. Yes I want to kiss him. He has cute face nice lips. Sex I think if now he will squash me! Not being rude honest he has big belly.

I didn't ask. He is big. Biggest place his belly.

He like what I like. If I ask him he try. Always. He never says no to activity.

Yes that would be bad. Good point to think about it

If you are a naturally active person with a healthy lifestyle I think you will get frustrated with restrictions that his weight will bring - long walks, even walking up steps will be at a slower pace, he probably snores and if his belly is that big expect sex to be potentially problematic.
Sorry to be doom and gloom op, I speak from experience.
If you are happy to have a quick fling then go for it as a fwb option?