Spending your life alone

[Clarasmum444]

I've gone from one failed relationship to another my whole life. I'm 45. I've recently broken up with a man who was brilliant to me and dd but he had some red flags that I couldn't ignore. I'm now at the point in my life when I realise I'm always going to be alone and i don't know how I feel about that. Sad I suppose but also resigned. Is anyone else in this situation and how do you feel about it? Just to add I also have no friends.

You've just not met the right man yet.

Why shouldn't you expect to be well treated. I'd hold out for that again.

Some people just settle for the first prick that looks their way. You didn't. Good for you for not settling.

I thought that to.
Then I met someone at 46 and ten years later still together.

I am the same as you OP. 47 and just out of my 2nd marriage (7 years together) I am now resigned to a life of singledom. I have few friends, don't go out, will never entertain internet dating (where I met my 2nd husband) and so thats that. I go from feeling sad that I have never had a relationship in which I felt truly loved and fulfilled but also relieved that I do not have to put up with toxic bullshit anymore. My DC are both at Uni and so I am alone at home - some days it is great and other very meh.

And even if the 'perfect' man came knocking on my front door I am not sure if I can be arsed anymore to be honest. After nearly 25 years of being in a relationship I want some head space to just breathe and feel free. I do think what now though a lot!

And I've been without a partner for 30 years (yes, I'm old) and it's been fine. I'm not alone, though, and I'm not without love of people I love.

I value calmness and predictability in my daily life. I found it's best achieved without a romantic partner.

Cultivate your family, and get some friends would be my advice. As ever, advice from total strangers should be ignored unless it resonates with you

In some ways it's harder that you don't have any friends.
Have you ever considered therapy to try and understand any issues you have relating to other people?
Do you have school mum acquaintances that you could become friends with?

I'm similar age and fine with it. Whenever I get a pang of "wouldn't it be nice to share this with someone" I take a photo and then it eventually gets shared with me via my phone gallery. In my experience moments like that happen far less frequently when you have a partner because they get sulky if made to go out, object at the cost, don't understand the need, eye roll etc etc. I'd rather do things solo and really appreciate them than feel I was forcing someone to do something then not enjoy it through worry.

I do have a kid though, so I don't know if I would feel the same way if I didn't. I find it far nicer to appreciate myself now and re-learn what really makes me tick.

Relationships are over rated OP.

Was it a failed relationship just because it didn't work out forever?

You've plenty of time to meet someone else one day if that's what you want.

Give up. The older you get the more you're going to meet men with more red flags than formula 1.

I feel you.
I am to in my 40s. From relationship to relationship. I have had some long year gaps in between them too. Being single dreaming of finding the 1.
Thought I'd found the 1, even had a baby with him to be a complete family.
Now -
Nearly 1 year separated from my husband of 2 years. And with a toddler in my 40s.
Never for 1 minute wanting to do the young child thing all over again, so old and by myself.
Often find myself asking why, why did this happen just for it all to fall flat on its face. Leaving me alone, again.
I've no friends either.
But I do know this. I'm going to give it my all in building new friendships and working on myself. To give myself everything that even a failed marriage couldn't give me.

Yes, and I've no family. I do have friends and hobbies. Keep busy, pack in as much stuff you enjoy as you can, provided its fairly healthy!