Erectile dysfunction

[Bumblebaee]

I have been dating my partner for about 4 months and we recently became intimate. I noticed the first time we had s*x, he struggled to penetrate me - but didn’t think anything of it and assumed he may be nervous.

we have then been intimate 2 or 3 more times and I have noticed every time he seems to struggle to penetrate me. He then ends up climaxing - but there is no penetration.

I thought maybe I was not ‘wet’ enough so tried with lube the last time but he just doesn’t seem to get hard enough to do the deed. He definitely gets an erection but its just not erect enough to penetrate.

Is this erectile dysfunction?
how can I help him?

he seems to be very into me and seems very interested in intimacy - but I feel unsatisfied. I’m still yet to feel him inside of me - but he climaxes.

sorry if this sounds strange - this is new to me. I am late 30’s and he is mid 40’s.

You seem to have found someone with erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation.

I would finish the relationship. First because he hasn't discussed it with you and second because it's normally quite complex and I couldn't be bothered to sort it out.

I'm also wondering if he tried to satisfy you sexually or if he just climaxed and called it a night. If he was selfish I would have already finished with him.

First time performance anxiety - happens.
But… Can he still not do it in the morning? Is he trying to please you? Does he feel embarrassed about coming over you? Do you both talk about it? Has he tried taking some keepy uppy pills?
You’re clearly trying to do something about this, but is he? He needs to, obviously.
credit to you for giving him second chances but in his position I’d be dying of embarrassment and desperate to perform. If he thinks this is normal - he isn’t.

Thanks for the replies.

@Bittenonce
he did do oral on me but that wasn’t great either. He hasn’t spoken to me about it. He isn’t taking anything for it. Some part of me thinks his in denial about it. I think a part of him thinks this is normal (for him anyway).

I may have a chat with him about it but ultimately I think I agree with @username358 and I think I may need to call it a day.

ED is no one's fault.
Not communicating about it, being avoidant and therefor leaving you unsatisfied, that is definitely his fault.
I wouldn't take this relationship any further.

@Girlmom35

thank you. I agree

I do think it’s probably easier to just walk away now. He’s not discussing it with you and it’s quite a significant barrier so early on in the relationship.

The ED can be treated, but the fact he's not satisfying you or communicating with you properly would be off putting for me.

Eurgh, crap at sex in his mid-40s? No thanks!

Ugh. No. I could work with the ED if he would discuss it AND he made it his business to give me pleasure. But he's just straight up shit in bed. Selfish. Ignorant. Hard no.