A man I've been seeing.
He blows hot and cold constantly. One minute he's attentive and showering me in compliments and saying how much he likes me, the next he is distant, doesn't want to see me and avoids me like the plague.
Then he comes back like he hasn't just done a 180.
He had mentioned having some "mental health" problems and finding relationships difficult sometimes so I've been patient with him as when we were together things were lovely.
I gently probed about what the mental health issues were but he didn't really elaborate and joked that it was "women".
It was only two days ago he was asking me to accompany him to a family party and meet his parents (I didn't go, I was ill). He was telling his siblings about me, telling them I was his girlfriend. He even video called me with his mum there to introduce us and get her to say hello etc.
That made me happy as I was starting to really like him a lot but the hot/cold behaviour had me questioning whether he was interested in me at all.
The next day, after all of that, crickets. I half expected him to back off a bit as there seems to be a pattern. If he's being particularly attentive/open what always follows is the period of him backing off.
I left him to it, assuming he'll come around again and he's just somebody with a fear of intimacy, but it feels more complex than that.
Today - he sent me a couple of blunt, short messages (two, three words) but wasn't interested in chatting beyond wanting to know whether the personal trainer I was going to have a training session with was a man.
It's a stark contrast to how he was two days ago, how can feelings change that quickly with no arguments?
I'm sitting here looking back and realising there were other red flags aside the hot/cold behaviour, although that in itself should have been enough for me to say sod this.
He has major trust issues without having any reason to have any, atleast with me.
When I'd be going out on the weekend he'd be asking exactly where I was going and who with.
When we were talking about my previous relationship he asked whether we'd ever hit each other (?!) when I hadn't indicated anything of the sort. It's almost like to him that would be normal behaviour.
Do you think he sounds like somebody who just struggles with his mental health or would all of this make you think he's a potential abuser?
I was feeling sad about how he has switched up on me again but now I'm starting to think he has probably done me a favour and I should take this opportunity to run like the wind.
Does any of this behaviour sound familiar?
What the hell is wrong with him?
I've NC.