Don't have the energy to argue with husband?

[heartbroken22]

What do I do? Going to call the doctors tomorrow because I can't cope with life. My husband doesn't seem to understand and he'll argue about everything. If I need winter clothes he'll pull a strop yet when his mother comes around he'll be happy to put things on the credit card.

Sorry just finding a way to put my thoughts down and not feel guilty about using money. I'm a sahm with 3 kids and I need stuff. When I was working and he wasn't I happily paid for his things like work clothes, car insurance (1800 pounds) I didn't think twice because we are a family. I just don't feel there mentally to be discussing things or him pulling a strop because he thinks I spend too much money.

Take the children and leave him he is abusive

Here’s the main issue:

1. You feel guilty asking him for money. You should never feel that way because you are a WIFE.
2. He doesn’t respect or value you or Your wants & needs as a partner
3. He worships his mother more than you because shes the Queen

So easy to solve this:

1. You have to remind yourself that you are such a catch, beautiful, young, fun, smart, etc etc & that hes the one who’s sooooo lucky to even be married to you! Then, get dressed up, put Your make up on, do Your hair, go out with Your amazing girlfriends on a fabulous night out in a super high-class area & make yourself be seen by all these ultra rich men. Remind yourself, that you are the QUEEN & that you can easily get any rich men to happily buy you ANYTHING that YOU want, many pieces of branded winter Clothes lol. Trust me, he’s gonna feel threatened & ask where you’re going looking all glammed up, just smile but say NOTHING & wear Your heels & head out. Get someone to pick you up from Your house!
2. Get yourself a part time job or have an online business or wfh job. Start investing money. Be financially independent & savvy yourself in case shit happens you can walk out anytime with freedom.
3. Dont sleep with him for Free when he aint buying you nothing or taking you out on dates/vacation.
4. Please stop being the man playing the male role & pay all his bills!! This IS utter nonsense & must be stopped nowww!! If you don’t, he will continue to lose respect for you! If he doesnt have a job & can’t pay the bills, thats his problem not yours! He should PLAN his financials well & his career well as to not lose his income. Remind him indirectly that the next time he cant pay the bills, you’re gonna get a rich man who would happily pay Your bills & more!

By doing all these, You are indirectly telling him that you can level up & do better if he doesnt measure up & financially provide for you hehe. He’s gonna crazy & buy you that goddamn clothes & what ever else you want. Only if you do this, & make yourself a priority rather than beg him to buy you stuff, you need to inspire & motivated him to do so on his own willingly & feels like hes gonna lose you anytime.

As a SAHM you should have worked out a way for you to be fully informed of the family finances and for you to have access to money.
How can you understand what you can afford if you are ignorant?
It might be that you can afford second hand clothing, good fresh food and two take-away coffees per week.
You need to work together on your family budget.
It might be that you need to go back to work.

You need to sit down together and talk finances and consider if you need to also meet with an accountant.

Hi there, you are not entirely wrong about advice on talking about family finances. However, i believe the issue here IS not that the husband cannot afford stuff, rather its about who he values more or less or equal in his life & his spendings are a reflection of that. I dont think hes going into financial debt just because of a winter cloth 😂😅

As usual the first response nails it. Controlling behaviour is abusive behaviour and financial abuse is a very real issue. Reading Why does he do that? by Lundy Bancroft may help you as well.

You do not need a GP as such, you need a Solicitor instead.

How much access do you actually have to money?. I would also think its one rule for him and quite another for you.