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Relationships

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Partnering in new parent roles

2 replies

HW24 · 18/11/2024 05:18

We’ve recently had baby he is now 7 weeks old. I feel like I’m really struggling with my partner I know it’s normal for “men” at this stage I’ve read all about it I’ve had friends and family talk about their experiences however he doesn’t seem to interested he said he’s finding it hard to bond but when I suggest skin on skin or talk to the baby etc I’m met with a brick wall.
in turn our relationship is now really strained when he’s having a diffficult moment I.e baby is crying etc I’m met with “stop telling me this is normal in your day when you aren’t working”.
I’ve also been told when I say I’m tired and he’s then “tired” (after having 7 hours sleep!) when I’ve had 2 hours! “Well you get no sympathy as you should sleep when baby sleeps in the day”
im trying really hard to stay optimistic and talk things through but it’s difficult as his life hasn’t really changed much.
I just wondered if all this harsh backlash is normal and maybe him being defensive or would that be me totally naive and he’s just being a sh*t partner (excuse me) 😅

OP posts:
OrlandointheWilderness · 18/11/2024 06:41

Probably both tbh. A new baby is the biggest test for a relationship- what is he normally like as a partner? You need to look after each other - he needs to realise it's not a competition, and perhaps you need to recognise that he is knackered at work all day. Both situations are shit, but it's a short lived period and you'll get through it.
I remember when you are sleep deprived being so jealous of people with good sleep - good chance he's knackered at work and thinking enviously you've got all day to doze with the baby! You need to remind him it isn't a 1953 edition of woman and home and it doesn't really work like that. You aren't slumbering happily in a pink frilly housecoat while your clean, peaceful and happy baby sleeps smelling of Johnson's baby powder. It's a war zone 😂!

OrlandointheWilderness · 18/11/2024 06:41

Oh and congratulations!

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