Breakups

[ash677x]

so me and my ex were together 4 years, we've split nearly 2 weeks now. The stages of a break up are hard yesterday I was fine and this evening I'm thinking about him, he was very toxic, a compulsive liar, a gambling addict and put it before our relationship hence the breakup, I keep reminding myself YOUR JUST LONELY DO NOT TEXT HIM. When does it get better 😪

Definitely don't text him. You will be miles better off without that in your life!

It's only been two weeks OP. You know it takes time and the length of time is different for everyone.

Ask yourself these questions: Why would you want a compulsive liar and gambling addict in your life? What did he add to your life? Don't you think you deserve better than him?

Finally, why do you still have his number in your phone? Delete it - then you can't text him even when you're tempted to.

Enjoy your peace of mind OP - something you wouldn't have if his toxic presence was still in your life.

Hardlife.

You might be trauma bonded if you have suffered emotional abuse from him. He won’t get better. He’s a compulsive liar and gambling addict. That’s who he is. Write down every time he lied to you, made you question yourself, blamed you for things that weren’t your fault, made you feel like crap, hurt your feelings, etc. when you start to think about the past with a rose tinted filter, read the list back to yourself. Remind yourself why he’s no good and you should stay away from him. Don’t go back. You’re free. Stay free.

Focus on yourself. Why have you set the bar so low for yourself? Could you be suffering from lack of experience and skill with setting and maintaining boundaries, low self esteem and confidence? What reasons do you feel kept you in an abusive relationship for so long? Counselling would be good if you could manage it financially.

2 weeks is early days - there's a long way to go. I found I needed to block - to stop myself from talking, messaging, as much as anything. It takes time to flush all the toxic mess out of you, sorry but there's no quick fix and while going cold turkey can be painful, it's really for the best.
Lonely hurts - just try to surround yourself with friends, keep them close.

It is such early days and it is normal to feel different emotions. Sometimes you take one step forward and then one back.

When you feel you want to contact him, just think about all the things he lied about, his gambling problem. You don’t need someone like that in your life do you?

Keep yourself busy with lots of fun activities with your friends. It will get better.