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Is it normal for a guy to ask for more compliments when dating?

17 replies

Anonymousmummmy · 15/11/2024 23:38

Hey! So I’ve been dating a guy for around 1.5 months now, and he’s really nice, handsome, intelligent, and we have lots in common… So all going well! I called him handsome the other day on text (not for the first time) and he asked me to call him that more often. I found that a little cringey and struggled to know what to reply because surely you’d want compliments to be natural; not because you’ve asked for them.

I’m naturally a very complimentary person, and I’ll comment on clothing, smell, looks etc because I like to make people feel good about themselves. He sent me a couple of photos recently and I messaged back about them and ‘hearted’ (liked them with heart) them on WhatsApp but I didn’t compliment his appearance, to which he replied that he thought I’d have said something about him ie. his appearance. I’m just finding it a bit odd. Do you think he’s self conscious maybe? I don’t want to feel pressured to constantly need to reassure someone that I find them attractive and have to compliment him all the time. I find this really strange because he’s insanely attractive (like a 10!! Perfect (for me anyway😅) teeth, height, his face is like a models, he’s fit, even dresses really well etc). Just want to make sure this isn’t a red flag because I’m very good at missing those😂🚩

OP posts:
TwistedWonder · 15/11/2024 23:43

Does his name start with a J? I matched with a man on OLD who sent constant selfies and expected me to send compliments every time and it got really tiresome very quickly.

Its too cringey and needy for me

ThatAgileGoldMoose · 15/11/2024 23:49

I don't think it's a red flag but it is needy and deeply unattractive if he keeps on doing it.

I'd watch out for is he training you how to be a stepford wife, because that would be a red flag.

Anonymousmummmy · 15/11/2024 23:54

@TwistedWonder My heart dropped for a sec and then I was like no no it’s not a J all good lmao😂 It is cringey isn’t it. I really hope it doesn’t give me the ick😬

OP posts:
Anonymousmummmy · 15/11/2024 23:55

@ThatAgileGoldMoose Stepford wife😭 Oh no

OP posts:
TwistedWonder · 16/11/2024 00:04

Anonymousmummmy · 15/11/2024 23:54

@TwistedWonder My heart dropped for a sec and then I was like no no it’s not a J all good lmao😂 It is cringey isn’t it. I really hope it doesn’t give me the ick😬

The final ick for me was when he had a sun bed and wanted he to tell him how brown his legs were and sulked because I laughed

Thatcastlethere · 16/11/2024 00:06

I don't think it's a red flag... it could be a good thing that he is able to communicate his emotional needs..
However if it gives you the ick then that's totally valid and you should just end it. As he's unlikely to change and he does have a rght/deserve to be with someone who meets his needs.. just as you have a right to be with someone who doesn't give you the ick and you find too needy!
Just incompatible.
It's OK to not like this aspect of him. It doesn't need to be a red flag to be something you end a relationship over.

loropianalover · 16/11/2024 00:10

I find this off putting taking into consideration that you already do give compliments, it’s not like you’re completely cold towards him. When you like something you obviously have no problem saying it.

I’d be completely turned off to be honest. Is he a china doll just standing around waiting to be called pretty?

helgel · 16/11/2024 00:10

Does he compliment you a lot OP?

Scrimt · 16/11/2024 00:13

Sounds like he sets a lot of store by his good looks and is used to being told he's good looking. But what a total turn off for someone to be that needy for compliments.

HerBloodIsLikeLiquidFire · 16/11/2024 00:15

I’m immediately turned off by needy men anyway, but expecting compliments on photos is another level. Does he think he's a greek god to be worshipped?
I'd be a bit worried he'd be sending other people those photos also for self gratification. It's a red flag for needing attention.

OnlyinBlackandWhite · 16/11/2024 00:17

I would not be interested in a man sending selfies and asking for more compliments! I wouldn't do that myself, unless it was of a particular event I wanted to share and I wouldn't expect them to say I was 'pretty' in the photo. 'Can't wait to see you' or 'hot' might be ok though...fishing for compliments just sounds a bit desperate.

Enough4me · 16/11/2024 00:17

Having needs and being needy are two different things and he's in the second category. He's telling you to please him, rather than telling you he's happy that you find him attractive as he finds you attractive too.
He's making it all about him!

healthybychristmas · 16/11/2024 00:25

Does he pay you a lot of compliments? Honestly I would just laugh if a guy kept asking for compliments like that. I wouldn't go for someone who was extremely handsome anyway especially one who is so needy. I don't find any of that really attractive at all.

JustinThyme · 16/11/2024 00:34

Needy is not a good thing. I’d bin him.

PinkArt · 16/11/2024 00:36

Men get massively fewer compliments than women, so maybe they should be more open about asking for them. I don't think it's a red flag. It is a flag as potentially he's massively vain/ superficial/ needy but I wouldn't colour it red yet.

Scrimt · 16/11/2024 00:42

Gaston from Beauty and the Beast, that's who he is.

Is it normal for a guy to ask for more compliments when dating?
Marlhmarlol · 16/11/2024 00:57

m.youtube.com/watch?v=79DijItQXMM

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