Letting him down gently?

[Erlouise]

Hi ladies

I’ve been seeing someone for a few months - we met online when I split with DDs father, started texting for a couple of months and then met. Have been on about 5 dates so far but they have always been a few hours or so as I like to get home to DD. He also lives quite far so even though we’ve seen each other 5 times this has been over several months as sometimes there’s weeks where we can’t see one another.

we are going for dinner tomorrow night.

however, I have decided I’m just not feeling it. I want to be alone, I want to focus of DD, I want to be selfish and do what I want when I want.

I tried to tell him this a month or so ago and he sort of talked me round into continuing to date and see how things go. However I still feel the same. I want to end this but I want to be nice about it as he has been very sweet to me. It’s nothing to do with him personally it’s just me and how I feel.

how do you let someone down gently? I was thinking of seeing him tomorrow and then giving it a few days and then just saying that I want to be alone and I don’t want to continue to date.

what if I never get rid?

thanks for the advice X

I wouldn't go out to dinner. I'd either ring or text and say you don't want to continue

If he tries to talk you round .....block him

It's very rude of him not to respect your wishes and you're hardly 'an item' 🙄

you’ve been on just 5 short dates over months and you tried to end it a month ago?

this is barely a relationship
just drop him. a message… enjoyed our time together but we’ve reached the end of the road i think. All the best and take care

Your baby is very young op
I wouldn’t be getting involved with anyone in your shoes

Don't go on the date for goodness sake. And don't let any man talk you into dating him when you don't want to! Just tell him. Send a message, lovely man, not feeling the right chemistry, wish him well etc

Don’t go for the meal, just send a text and firmly end it, then do not reply. If he badgers you, block him.

Message him and cancel saying you’re just not feeling it so it’s unfair to continue. Wish him well and leave it there.

If he tries to talk you round say no your decision is final.

Don’t go to dinner.

You've only had a few dates, nothing wrong with clearly messaging to say don’t want to take anything further.

Definitely text and ask to speak before dinner and say you haven't more time, you don't have the feelings so it's time to stop seeing each other.

This.
Calm and clear. Say you don't want to mislead him - it's not something you want to pursue further.

I'd cancel. He can then make other plans. Sometimes you need to be the one that's decisive and clear.

If you've made up your mind see it as not letting him waste time and money only to hear the same thing as he would after the date, especially if it involves travel.

If he is insistent over the phone, text is fine as long as you let him know.

There's no point trying to sugarcoat a rejection so don't get stuck on trying to make it "gentle". It's a waste of time to try to make dumping someone sound pleasant.

The "nicest" thing anyone on the receiving end can hear is "it's not you, it's me" which is why that's such a cliche. In your case it's also true so you can say exactly what you've told us. You've enjoyed your time with him, you think he's great but you don't want to date at all right now.

Then be firm! That's the end of the conversation. If he tries to pressure you or talk you round, ignore and if necessary block.