Never felt so alone in my life

[youonlyliveonce99]

You know I sit here and I wonder why I'm here, why I was even brought into this world.

I feel soo alone, these past few years have been soo rough and testing and I just wonder why I'm always getting shit.

All I've ever wanted was to be happy, settled and have a family life and a job.

I have none of that.

I just feel soo lonely and sad all the time. Just drifting through life like a ghost. Same shit different day, washing, cooking and cleaning. I get no enjoyment out of my life, I look forward to nothing I barely go out because I just feel tired and unmotivated all the time. I have no family, well none that are interested in me or my children. Never see family and friends only bother if I end up making arrangement and making the plans and message them first.

I literally do washing, cook and clean sleep repeat day in day out.

I feel my life is pointless. I feel I exist for nothing. I'm so bored of this life. I feel I have a very bleak future. Will I ever be happy?

It's horrible isn't it. Just feel stuck in this full grey area of life where I'm like what is this?

I don’t think it helps that my daughter whose 19 months old is soo needy and clingy, she don’t stop jumping all over me and following me all day every day, she’s also quite hard work as she’s very whingy and moany bless her. It can be extremely draining, she also doesn’t sleep all the way through at night so most days I’m shattered and exhausted.

I understand but nothing will change unless you change it. Maybe get a part time job whilst the kids are at school. Or volunteer. As I said, check out what’s going on in your area and get involved. Community projects, etc. you can take the kids along with you or go when they’re in school. You might want to speak to your GP too as it sounds like you could be depressed. Ask to be referred for counselling. It might take a while but it’s better to at least be in the list. And in the meantime, you can also get support to pay for childcare through universal credit. So check that out. Check this to see if you could be claiming benefits you’re not currently getting.

https://benefits-calculator.turn2us.org.uk

You might not know what you want to do but try things anyway. If they’re not for you, move on to something else. You’ll eventually find your thing but you have to get out there and find it. You’ll feel better being proactive and taking back that control too.