Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

fwb

10 replies

fwbfwb · 13/11/2024 20:39

this happened years ago so it’s not important but I was thinking about it tonight after a conversation about fwb came up as I’ve only had one relationship but had quite a few fwb. Anyway are fwb meant to be exclusive? I was fwb with one guy and one night I went to his house I had not long got back from a holiday abroad, he asked me if I had slept with anyone whilst away (this is the first time he ever asked that) I wanted to be honest so I told him I had (bare in mind I hadn’t actually seen him for a few months as we didn’t see each other regularly.) Anyway he got angry at me and basically asked me to leave his house, it was the middle of the night, we never spoke again after that. Its always baffled me what his issue was, I thought the point of fwb was it was casual and non exclusive? We never discussed being exclusive at all. Do men just get annoyed because they expect to be the only one? I am not looking to be told he secretly had feelings for me as I don’t believe that was the case we actually was never romantic in anyway it was purely sexual no lovey dovey stuff or anything and we never went on any dates. i never spoke to any friends about it at the time as i was kind of embarrassed 😣 anyway was i wrong? if you have a fwb do you still see other people (if you haven’t decided to be exclusive) and are you open about it if asked?

OP posts:
LikeARunnerHo · 13/11/2024 20:41

When I had a fwb, we exclusively slept with each other. We didn’t sleep with anyone else (well that was the agreement anyway). We were free to date people and if it got serious with someone, then we’d end the fwb arrangement but that’s all really

fwbfwb · 13/11/2024 20:43

i’m guessing you discussed that though? i doubt he hadn’t slept with anyone else since the last time as we hadn’t seen each other for a few months

OP posts:
Lovemusic82 · 13/11/2024 20:48

For me a FWB is someone your friends with and you have sex….no commitment and no questions about what you get up too when your not with them.Surely being friends with someone, sleeping with them and being exclusive is a relationship?

fwbfwb · 13/11/2024 20:49

that’s my opinion, however i’m probably being generous calling him a fwb as there wasn’t really a friendship with didn’t meet up other than for sex.

OP posts:
TwistedWonder · 13/11/2024 20:51

It’s different things to different people. My mates who have a FWB are exclusive as they want a companion and sex without the full on commitment.

BillPurchase · 13/11/2024 20:52

Depends if you have multiple fwbs? The idea is for people who dont have partners.

boygirlcatdog · 13/11/2024 20:55

He was probably asking them annoyed as he was worried about STI risk? Maybe had assumed you were exclusive to him (although as you say very unlikely he would have applied those rules to himself!)

category12 · 13/11/2024 20:56

No, you weren't in the wrong. If you hadn't discussed being exclusive, and it was just sex, then he was being odd.

I do think blokes are more likely to get the hump if they're getting laid less in that kind of situation.

fwbfwb · 13/11/2024 20:58

no not multiple, but if i met anyone else that i liked then i wouldn’t see him, the holiday one was just a holiday fling and protection used. to give it more background he never came to my house, we never went on dates i just went to his house.

OP posts:
litepop · 13/11/2024 23:07

In don't think there are any set 'rules' about what is and isn't okay.
Some people prefer fwb to a serious relationship but at the same time don't want to sleep with someone who is sleeping around.
Others are openly seeing other people and expect their fwb to too.

The key is communication and agreeing boundaries.

However, I would add in your defense that I'd always assume non-exclusive until agreed otherwise

New posts on this thread. Refresh page