Me and Coworker have deep feelings but both in relationships

[SillyBillie91]

Hi.

First time posting on here, so please be kind as this is a delicate situation. Just looking for some support and guidance.

I started a new job recently and a co worker caught my eye. I am Female and Lesbian as is my co worker. We noticed each other but never really crossed paths until 3/4 weeks ago. She needed help with some legal stuff and I have experience and knowledge on the subject. We exchanged numbers for this reason. From here we started texting about the issue then it became more friendly. It got very deep very quickly about past trauma, our relationships, hopes and dreams etc. Never was it sexual.
We both identified we weren't getting the support needed from our partners and acknowledged that no affair would begin despite having a very strong emotional and sexual attraction.

We arranged to go for coffee to have a chat about all this away from work but my coworkers partner saw the text and has forbidden my co worker to contact me. This person just thinks I'm an average coworker. I was informed that her relationship is very controlling and I suspect there may be some domestic abuse occurring as I've noticed bruises on arms and burn in hand.

So we don't text anymore, but we see each other numerous times a day and seek each other out. We had a big chat and my coworker said it's a timing issue and logistics were difficult. I can relate as same for me. She said she is confused about leaving her current relationship for me. We haven't had the opportunity to really spend quality time as her partner has ensured that can't happen due to control and has stopped this from taking off.

I've been in an emotional rollercoaster, and I wanna let this go but we have strong feelings.

Please help.

holy trinity all the best and positivity,

I'll admit, I was building a friendship, and from the setup of the other person's relationship, I never expected to have a chance at anything more. We had several good conversations, including a 1-hour and 30-minute lunch at one point, and it seemed like a strong friendship overall. However, things began to grow distant, almost as if I was being pushed away. Whether they developed feelings, I can’t say for certain, though I suspect it could be possible based on a few factors.

At the moment, I've been ghosted. I don't know if they'll reach out in the future, though I hope they do. For now, the ball is in their court.

We haven't had the opportunity to really spend quality time as her partner has ensured that can't happen due to control and has stopped this from taking off.

Is that really such unreasonable behaviour on the part of the her partner though OP? Your post reads as if you are putting all the blame on her partner for you not now being together. I think it is important to be realistic with yourselves about where the planned ‘ coffee and chat’ might have led. The fact that her partner may be controlling is really an issue for your coworker to deal with, and does not absolve you and your coworker from being accountable for your feelings and actions.
I’m sorry, as it sounds like a difficult situation, but as others have said, the honest thing would be to either change jobs or take a break from your own partner to really assess how you feel.