Utterly exhausted by being middle aged!

[Womblesforever]

Single mum for a long time with 2 children. Useless father of kids. Aging parents (one in nursing home). Full on job. Irritating and woke boss. Less money than I had when I was about 30 (I'm now mid 50's). Dating is dire.

Sorry for the vent, but does anyone else just feel that life is all about work and the being solely responsible for everyone ?!

Totally.

@Autumnblackberries sorry to hear you are feeling this too x

This is pretty standard.

Do you have any time for hobbies or meeting friends? It has to be something out of the house so it can be prioritised.

You MUST try really really hard to try to carve out a little time for yourself to do something you enjoy.

Forget about men, focus on your kids and your career.

Single parent of 2 here as well.
Actually when I think about it properly. It's not so much that I'm exhausted @Womblesforever but more that I feel sad.
Work and kids take all my time. That and my mum's needs
I love them all. (Well maybe not so much the career) I also love my friends.
Having said all that, it's hard to get away from the feeling that I've had my best times during my 20s and 30s, and now it's just an ongoing cycle of everyone else's needs.

Yes. Feel like all I do is work and there’s no time
or mental energy left for anything else. My parents are elderly and are at the moment in good health but I just don’t know how I’ll cope when they need me and how I’ll fit everything in.

Yes! I'm a single parent with a useless ex who just dropped on me casually last night that he won't see my son for 7 weeks as he's going on a jolly around the globe. I'm burning up with resentment and exhaustion.

I was just talking with a couple of friends about this today - they feel the same. Utterly drained and exhausted by their thankless, joyless, unappreciated, unseen caring duties. Children and parents. We are 50 to 54. It's generally a woman's burden but one of the friends is a gay man with two adopted kids and a useless husband.

I read a while ago that statistically the unhappiest ages are 40-59. I am really looking forward to being 60.

Ugh me too op - it's relentless.

it gets better as the kids get older (age 59 here). I have had many times especially around 50ish with teens when I just wanted to get off the bus…

Similar situation. I have a full on fab job, 99% care of my kids. Ex is ok but not actively wanting to have the kids and i havent wanted to push things due to his temper issues. Was in a relationship for 1.5 years and partner has now said he wants someone more available to him ie no kids. He has no kids. I do wonder whether this is it for me now. Kids are happy. Im just broken inside.

Is he allowed to do that? No court ordered shared responsibility? Bloody hell.

presumably you’ll be booking yourself on a similarity long holiday?

I'm 48 next week, fulltime job, 3 year old, two elderly and increasingly frail parents, a husband that gets grumpier by the day. I am aging rapidly, probably deep into peri but I don't have the headspace to see a doctor to try and get on HRT or workout if I should use it. Also sleep is a thing of the past, between getting up for my child and my insomnia I am lucky if I get a 3 hours a night.

I thought when I finally had my baby 3 years ago that life was only just beginning. that all looked rosy and exciting. Now I feel like I've dug myself into a whole I can't get out of.

Its just an endless slog with the odd moment of joy but very little time for me to think, which might be just as well.

Not any advice just solidarity.

It passes - the children will be on their way soon and then you won’t know who you are or what you want to do if you are not careful

which is another way of saying / yes life can be shit and it can drag on for a long time like that

Oh God, same. I was 52 on Saturday and I was so completely burnt out that I couldn't do anything other than potter at home. Dds and dh were suggesting things to do and I just couldn't engage at all.

I have now booked an appt at a private menopause clinic that I can't afford at all because I'm so utterly sick of feeling like shit and the HRT patches from GP aren't really helping the big picture. I can't face trying to shoehorn in more 10 min appts with my GP to keep attempting to improve things when I'm right on the edge of my tolerance for absolutely everything already.

As far as I'm concerned this is a shit age but tbh I have had a very tough 25 years so I'm struggling not to just slip further and further down.

Another one here , I’m 56 .
Exh left to live abroad 13 years ago leaving me to care for 3 children all under 10.
I work full time (demanding job) and have had an evening job to help make ends meet.
Kids are nearly fully fledged now and
amazing .
Parents are starting to need me more .
I feel completely worn out .
I had time for nothing for 10years except caring for others.
sometimes I just want a few days where I’m not responsible for everyone , everything and the first port of call .

Not a single parent but DH away all the time working.
No money worries thank goodness.
Agree all my time is spent, cleaning, on DD and on DM and in work. DH can be a messy bugger when he’s here that is.
Never enough time in the day.

@Meena43 it will get better. No doubt it’s bloody hard work though.