Would you say yes to this date

[ThePerkyCoralPoet]

My friend has a questionable dating life and makes some interesting choices. I will always support her no matter what.

Last night she asked me whether to give this guy a chance. She does often meet not so great men so I want to protect her but also realise she needs to make her own mistakes at 28.

So she was back and fourth for a while on instagram with someone. They messaged for a few weeks and talked quite a bit. She said her replies became awful at one point and she left about a week between them and then he just never replied.

He texted her last night saying “Hey Jade, I’m sorry my replies have been so bad. Work has been hectic and non stop. I’m going away to Iceland on the 15th and I’m back on the 20th. I’d love to take you out if you’re available. I hope you’re having a good week”

She’s unsure about whether she wants to go or not because he wasn’t so great with replies. I said she could go on one date and maybe give it a chance. She basically just wants other women’s perspective. I said I just don’t want to give mine this time as it’s her life and whatever makes her happy I support.

Anyone got any thoughts?

It the relationship is difficult before they’ve even met, imagine how hard it’ll be further down the line. I’d bin this one.

Absolutely not. No ones work is that hectic. He has reappeared in the hope of sex? Which is fine but she should keep her eyes wide open.

This is true!

Yes on the 20th or later.

Why would you say yes. Just out of curiosity

Why not? There is essentially almost zero information to go on about this guy. He might be nice, might not. If she likes him why not meet up and see if she likes him in person?

A very fair point

Probably not. What sort of things was he saying? He should be trying to impress at this stage not being an arsehole. Everyone is busy but no excuse for rudeness.

You’ve said that she was awful with replies, but criticise him for poor replies.

If they’ve got on well for a while, then why on earth not meet up, even if only just to satisfy her curiosity? Let them give each other a chance.

I think we need to know how the replies were “awful”…

If you mean they were infrequent, or just short and dull, then I’d take a chance and meet, as he was probably either busy or focussing on someone else he was chatting to at the time (and it’s unrealistic when she hasn’t even met for him not to have “other irons in the fire”.

On the other hand, if by awful he’d been rude or sexually inappropriate, then it would be a no.

She said her replies became awful at one point and she left about a week between them and then he just never replied.

Sorry, I re-read… well, I don’t see how she can be annoyed with him when he didn’t reply after she left a week between replying! It sounds like the conversation just petered out, and he’s just trying to revive it by being proactive and asking to meet.

If so, I don’t see an issue… the only concern I have is that she’s thinking he’s the one with them problem with communication, when it seems to have at least as much of a problem with her. Anyone who is harsh on another’s faults (if you can even call it that in this case) whilst being unaware or too forgiving of their own, makes for a bad partner in my experience. She needs to own her part in the waning of the previous conversation, and hold herself to the same standards she holds others.

What was awful about the replies? Was he boring? Did he hardly ever answer? It seems a really odd way to meet someone on Instagram but I accept I am ancient!

So her replies were awful and she didn’t bother responding for a week and now she’s judging him?

It’s really unclear what you mean by her replies being awful but in any case, as PPs have flagged, it sounds like she hasn’t communicated particularly regularly either. Why can’t she just go for a date and see how it goes?

You’re not very clear — your friend’s replies were ‘awful’ at one point, and she left several days between them, but then he comes back and apologises for his replies being ‘bad’?