domestic violence and brain injury

[Mumtobe202310]

Hi All,

Hope you all and LOs are doing well.

I suffered abuse from ex husband a year ago while I was 8 months pregnant.

I said something and he got angry and held my ears and brought them upwarda and slapped my head sooo hard many times. Both sides.

Ever since that I realised the next morning and days following I was so tired, like no energy, difficulty focusing in mornings or keeping eyes properly open.

A few months later he slapped my right side of head 2 times very hard.

Since all of this, I've realised I had tinnitus and also there is an area on right side of head if pressed it hurts. It's always tender. Also, recently my head just feels so tight and hard and it's an uncomfortable nagging feeling in my head, it's horrible. I try very hard to stay strong as I have a 13 month old baby but it really does become very difficult at times to cope. My vision is also not the same. I have to strain my eyes and my eyes have permanent pigmentation after the slaps too cos the fingers must have touched it. When I talk, I can hear myself in left ear, I don't think I can hear myself properly in right ear if that makes sense.

Is there anyone else here who has recovered from this type of abuse? (massive warm hugs and love and healing to any of you who have gone through this or witnessed it as a child)

Oh my goodness, this is so upsetting to read. I hope you managed to get medical care after those terrible attacks? I’d advise seeing you GP for inward investigations, it does sound as though you have some lasting damage. Needless to say, I hope you are no longer with him, he deserves to be in jail (also report to police!)

Im no longer with him and filed divorce. I have had 2 MRIs, which showed nothing so I'm a bit like what's going on if you get what I mean x

I am so sorry for what you have endured, I’m so glad you managed to get away and can live a safe, happy life with your LO away from that monster. You are amazing!

I think the first thing to do would be to speak with your GP about the difficulties you are experiencing. You’ve said you’ve had two MRIs but sometimes other types of tests can be more helpful in identifying problems. Your GP should refer you to Neurology for further investigation.

Have you had any psychological therapy? This can be really helpful in processing and recovering from trauma, such as domestic abuse. Sometimes trauma can be held in the body if not fully processed, which can lead to all kinds of strange sensations, pain and discomfort. You could ask your GP to refer you for NHS based therapy for trauma. Or you could look for private therapists if you could afford it.

I wish you all the best OP 💐

That is horrific to read.
No advice other than asking have you spoken to Women's aid for advice?
Have you thought to involve the police and report him?
You poor woman.

Please consider contacting the charity Headway. Acquired brain injury from domestic abuse is under recognised and they may be able to provide advice that you can share with your GP.

You need an ENT consultation, neurology advice and therapy. Please, seek advice from your GP.

Could it be a trapped nerve?
Maybe a professional head massage or some acupuncture would help.
Just check it's OK with a gp first though.

Thank you so much for your responses and love everyone.

I have been to ENT too and they couldn't find anything wrong with my hearing.

This may seem so silly to ask but do you think all of this uncomfortable feint in the head and the pain can cause death? I'm just so so scared because this is to do with the brain! And I'm terrified of passing away cos of my LO

I also have been reffered for counselling too

I think if there was something deadly, the doctors would have spotted it by now.

Go to your opticians about the eyesight issues. You may need glasses. Which could be completely unrelated but would explain the uncomfortable headaches. There could be something dislodged in the eye so get that seen to asap. If you're having to squint all the time of course your head will feel fuzzy and...pulled, sort of. It's eye strain.

You need recovery time. Ideally with as little stress as possible. Avoid alcohol and smoking, try to eat healthy, get lots of sleep (I've not easy with a baby but, prioritise it). And do consider alternative therapies. If I were you I'd try every aromatherapy and acupuncture therapy I could find. And a long, sunshine holiday if possible too.

You will recover. The body heals itself in time. It might never be as it was of course. But try not to stress about things like dying. You've been through the worst. Now you just need time and rest and to be kind to yourself.

Councilling sounds a good step. So long as you don't find it adds to your stress by digging things up you don't want to discuss. Only talk about what you are comfortable with atm as you don't want to add stress to your body whilst it recovers.

You'll get there op, but take steps. Give your body the best opportunity to heal possible.

Have you seen an optician OP? Maybe that could be your next move if not.

I also suggest an optician. And I'm so so sorry to hear what you suffered. You are a strong woman and I'm glad you left

I'm so sorry OP.

MRIs don't show everything, so this case isn't closed yet. Don't be afraid for asking for seconds opinions. I think you need further neurological attention, but I'm wondering if your issues are partly to do with the inner ear from when he slapped you hard.

I have no advice but all I can say is this is horrific , I'm so sorry it happened and I truly hope and pray that you and your child are safe now xx