Hi, this is my first time posting. I’m lying in bed feeling utterly broken. My husband and I have been together for 12 years; we have a wonderful daughter and a lovely home. But what’s really getting me down is that he never initiates intimacy—either in the bedroom or outside of it. When we are intimate, it doesn’t feel exciting, and the last couple of times, it hasn’t even gotten off the ground. This makes me feel uncomfortable in my own body because it feels like he just isn’t attracted to me.
I’ve had countless conversations with him about this, but I’m always the one who feels guilty for bringing it up because it just ends in an argument. All I’m asking for is some excitement. My previous relationship was so much more intimate that I find myself thinking about it, which makes me feel terrible.
How can I have another conversation with my husband about intimacy without it leading to a big argument? Right now, it just feels like he doesn’t fancy me, and we’re just friends.