Moving during the week days to be closer to work- will it strain my relationship?

[PurpleCat44]

I currently live with my partner. I have a 4 hour commute to work daily in total. It’s really getting too much and I’m exhausted. I’m seriously considering renting a place close to work during the work days and coming back home during the weekends to see my partner. Has anyone ever done anything like this? Does it take a toll on the relationship?

My ex did this. I will be honest and say that I lost feelings for him and eventually ended the relationship.

I spent six months of every year for a decade living in another country to DH for my work. It was fine.

Does your partner have a commute? Could you move elsewhere together?

I think you Will be damaging your relationship by being so exhausted from commuting. Can you get a short term let to try it? Or even a cheap Travelodge near work once a week so there is one day a week you aren’t getting up crazy early

My ex-DH did this a couple of nights a week and it worked really well for both of us to have the space. (He’s an ex for other reasons.)

I basically did this in a LDR and it was fine (ended for other reasons). When I was married, husband also did this for a year. Again, no problem.

In both cases, it actually made the weekends really special, and I think if anything it prolonged both relationships!

I've done the 2 hours each way commute, and it's a real toll on you. You may find that once you don't have to do it daily, you are ok coming home midweek too.

I think you should try it out, look on spare room and see if anyone wants a short term lodger - they'd probably be likely to consider you for half the week even if advertising for full time. Or ask around colleagues if they know anyone local with a spare room who wants extra cash.

Then consider relocating long term

That is an unsustainable commute.
I think you need to try it.