Do you ever feel down about your LDR?

[NapSnap]

Been in a LDR for a year now. Generally it suits me but very occasionally I get fed up & wonder how it will all pan out. Today is one of those days!

We live an hour apart & see each other once, occasionally twice a week. 🙁 Usually in the day, as I have DC & they need to come first obviously but it's hard not seeing each other at weekends or evenings (I have no family support & little spare cash for sitters).

I wonder if I need to introduce the DC but would prefer not to yet.

You answered your own question… introduce your dc and you’d be able to spend a lot more time together although I understand that you don’t but it’s your only answer and option. You can’t be looking at the future thinking is that how it’s always going to be when you haven’t even taken the next step in introducing your children without that how will you know how different or better life would be. So I think you need to get to a next step and reevaluate

How old are your DC?

It’s tough if you have a greater need for intimacy and together time. Been there, done that, it didn’t work out.

Have you had a chat about what things might look like further in the future? Are there any obvious barriers? Could one of you move closer to the other?

If you have a bit of a joint plan for the future then at least you’ll both know it’s temporary and will feel a bit easier. If it’s indefinite, and when it’s dark, cold and horrible outside, that’s going to get you down…

Yes, I do.

Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it. Am getting to the point of needing to make a plan for the distance to end.

One hour isn’t really a LDR. Some people commute further than that for work every day.

I don’t really think an hour is exactly a long distance relationship. Dh and I commute longer than that to work. 😂 When we were dating though, for several years, we had to be an 11 hour flight from each other. That’s long distance.

It sounds like it’s not the distance, but simply dating while having dc and full busy lives with little respite. Would it be that much different with someone with dc balancing contact with an ex, a FT job, life commitments who lives 20 minutes away?

@ElleintheWoods Twins aged 5. Their dad is not around.
Neither of us want to move from where we live, but at the moment that doesn't matter too much.
Going forward we'll have to make some decisions though.

@JennaRink will you move, or your partner?

One hour isn't a long distance relationship though. You likely could see eachother more if you wanted surely??

Been in a 90 min away relationship for over 5 years. Just floating on. Very unsatisfactory really.

Its not really long distance @NapSnap but maybe feels casual as mine does.

What do you want long term?

Yeah, it possibly as @mindutopia said:

It sounds like it’s not the distance, but simply dating while having dc and full busy lives with little respite. Would it be that much different with someone with dc balancing contact with an ex, a FT job, life commitments who lives 20 minutes away?

Maybe it's that, more than the distance. It's only been a year and whilst I think long term it's a goer, it's still quite early days at the moment.

I think you are right @Aibuforthisthought it feels casual, although I don't want it to be too heavy yet either! 😆