Trying to get all the facts down now without drip feeding. Been in a relationship for 14 years now 3 children a dog and a mortgage never married. So my partner of 14 years, is often moody, he has always been this way but has got worse over the past 5 ish years. We're both mid 30s. I think maybe it's depression he has but he will not seek help for it. We are both full time in work, I have always worked when our children were babies etc he does work a 6 day week so does more hours than me. (35 for me with the occasional bank shift when I can fit in around children he does 45) I do all the childcare/housework, I do tea every night, kids homework kids bath/bed the cleaning housework, kids clubs , any medical appointment and I stay off work if one of our children are poorly. All I ever hear from him is how hard his life is, he drinks most nights between 4-10 pint cans. Also a heavy smoker. I don't. Sometimes, I have to remind h now again to how a shower or cut his finger nails, I then get called a bitch or nasty and that I don't appreciate how much he does for me. He eats crisps in bed regularly leaves the packet in our bed if I mention to him move your crisp packet, again I'm a nasty cow. Our 3rd child who is 6 was unplanned and as we don't want and can't afford anymore children he has been on the waiting list for a vasectomy for sometime but puts it off when they have a spot for him. I can't go on pill etc medical reasons he won't wear a condom struggles with impotence and is quite happy having a none existent sex life. A very close family member of mine died last year, he drank at the bar most of the night whilst I had the kids, didn't once swap for me to mingle and speak to my relatives as you would do at a funeral. It was the anniversary of their death recently, when I returned from work expecting a how are yoy,how was day? Etc I get greeted with I've got fucking cold off you never stopped blowing my nose all day! And I can't find some papers he needed for work that was lost. Yes, I get he was stressed looking for something but he can't have a conversation with me anymore. I understand he works hard and money is tight, but when he says I'm unappreciated of him is really getting me down. Look at all I do? His mum lives near us within walking distance, and after tea almost every night he will walk to her house whilst I bath kids tidy after tea do lunches and u inform for next day. Then he comes home when it's all done? If I try and speak to him about any of this it ends with an argument! I have tried telling him he needs to change his ways or I will go, and I get a response of well you know where the door is. What would you do? I have no savings etc car is in his name. Do I put up with this and hope he changes or do I try and leave now? I feel like I'm at a complete crossroads and I'm worried that I will look back at my life in 15/20 years and think why didn't I leave I really don't want to be that woman, but at the same time would be so difficult financially and hard on the children.