Co-Parenting

[ash677x]

So me and ex split on Monday, we were together for 3 years and we have a two year old together. We left it on civil terms, walked away from eachother, and agreed we would be civil for the child and come to agreements and I have told him he is a great father which he is, and he can take her out whenever he wants.

Texted me this morning 10.30am, Can I get child today if your not busy, I replied saying we were meant to go to my mother's to visit and have dinner, but yes what time? To which he replies "No you take her" and I explained we were not leaving till after 1 o'clock, do you want me to get her ready? To which he replies "No"

Is he looking for an argument? Being stubborn? It was 10.30am, there was no reason he could not take her out and bring her back for us going to my mother's.

He doesn't want to interrupt your plans and wants to spend quality time with his daughter. I don't see anything wrong with what he's said. Offer him an alternative day when you don't have plans and thank him for being considerate?

You need to put a regular plan in place for shared contact. It doesn't have to be rigid and it can flex when you both agree to it but how can either of you make plans without one.

This isn’t going to work making arrangements at the last minute, you both need to come up with a contact plan whether that is 50/50 or a mid-week visit and each other weekend.

I don’t see he’s done anything wrong tbh. Hes stepping back and letting you continue with your plans for today without drama.

Its very early days so my advice would be to have a grown up discussion about a more formal co parenting plan with a bit of flexibility.

I co parent. We have a weekly routine and any changes to it get agreed at least a week ahead. Sometimes we have days out all together. Sometimes we holiday together although I'm stopping that as hr drives me nuts! We are both fine with the other taking them on holiday alone, although we do use air tags on them if abroad for the other's peace of mind! We also have open phone policy, kids can video call any time. And if on holiday or full day out we send each other updates and pics.

You need to ask him what his expectations are and set up something formal or you're going to fall out.

You need a formal agreement because the idea that you'll just message and work around each other is simply never going to work.

He hadn't done anything wrong in asking and has respected that you've already got plans but you need to get some sort of schedule in place asap for everyone's sake.

He's done nothing wrong