Dating.. to confirm the day before ?

[cluelessgirly]

So what's everyone's opinion on this..

I've on and off spoken to a guy for a few months. We've said about meeting a couple of times and I've ended up putting my walls up. I've been honest with him about this and he's been understanding. I just haven't felt ready to put myself out there, but I have but then I'd second guess myself.. I was so heartbroken so it's taken me a while that's all.

Anyway, it's been a while and I'm in a better place after taking some time to just do me. We've said about meeting tomorrow for a drink and we've been talking every day.
I've already asked once what time he's going to be free, to which he didn't answer that and just said where we could go as an idea..

But now it's the evening of the day before we are due to meet and I have no idea what sort of time I need to be free? I don't really want to mention it again, as it would be nice for him to say 'so tomorrow, let's meet at this time etc does that work' or something.. I don't want to prompt it in case he's changed his mind? However time is getting on 🤣 men surely know women have prep to do for a date to feel nice about themselves?!

I know this is over thinking, however I also don't want someone to think it's acceptable to leave me waiting around. I've got other stuff I want to do with my weekend, and I will carry on and do those things and if I'm free when he wants to meet, then I'm free but if not I'm not. However just wondered if this is me putting my walls up and I should just say sooo what time did you want to meet tomorrow? Or are my thoughts relevant 😂

I've been hurt and dealt with people with many wrong intentions. Which is why as soon as I put myself out there I crawl back under my rock back to my alone happy place!
I'm sure people out there can understand!

over thinker at their finest here 🥴

Just ask
If you were meeting a friend or family wouldn't you want/ need to know too ?
We all have busy lives it's not unreasonable to need to know a time so you can work around it

I would expect an approximate time and venue to be agreed at least 24 hours in advance.
I would definitely message one last time asking when and where are we meeting tomorrow and then leave it to him to respond

Just say "About tomorrow, I'm free at about xx time? Would that work for you?"

I would also want to know, and I would probably do exactly as you are. And I can only say this because I'm on the outside, but I would be wondering why on earth I haven't asserted that my time is valuable... But I'm a bit of a red flag spotter and see them everywhere these days... I hope he gets on it and you have a lovely time!

He's probably just misread your message, and thought you said where instead of when, so has replied to that.

Just tell him what time you want to meet, and if he can't do it he'll reply with an alternative.

I'm sorry OP, but if I'm being honest, he's probably gotten a little bored of the will we meet - won't we meet scenario, A couple of months is an awfully long time to talk and not meet. If someone took three months to meet for a firt date, i'd assume they weren't particularly interested.

One more chance, ask what time and if no direct response, then bin him off.

As you’ve already asked once, I’d leave it and go do something else.

Isn't it more like op has the red flag since she was the one putting off meeting up until now?

Don't ask, but suggest. It's not all up to him. "Shall we go do 8pm at the Kings Head?"

Let him know you're confident and sure about meeting this time.

yep, gut instinct maybe...

@cluelessgirly I don't want to prompt it in case he's changed his mind

To me, it seems pretty obvious he has.

It takes two to arrange a date - the ball is in his court.

As a PP said, leave it and go do something else.

You are overthinking a little bit, yes. You’re making the date a very big deal in your head. I can appreciate why you would if you’ve got such high walls.

Think of it a little more casually, 2 people meeting up to get to know each other better. He may be nervous too as you’ve been chatting a long time and he may not know what you’d prefer to do etc.

I’d say wait for him to message for a bit longer. If nothing within a reasonable timeframe, text him quite casually to ask ‘so are we still on for tonight?’

It may be an idea to make a plan together so you have some input into time and place. It’s 2024, no need to let a man dictate to you what time and where you should be.

Particularly for first dates it’s nice to bounce ideas off each other, thinking of my recent first dates with guys who weren’t horrible dictators they’ve wanted my input into place and time so that it’s something that makes me feel safe and comfortable.