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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Work and relationship stresses making me enter a depression

8 replies

PurpleCat44 · 08/11/2024 12:53

I feel I am slowly losing control. I moved in with my partner a few months ago, from my mother’s house.

A few months after I finished uni and started my job. I am having to commute 4 hours a day, and I find the job stressful in itself. I would love a lesser paying job where I could just clock out at the end of the day not worrying about work and it be close.

A few months after I met my fiance he told me he’d like to stop my favourite hobby as it felt inappropriate( it involved wearing more revealing costumes however it wasn’t sexual). I also have a male friend that I’ve known for years who I used to meet up with every once in a while. He has stopped me from meeting with him. He met him once and they both disliked eachother. He said he’d only let me meet if I’m with him, but this is awkward as I can absolutely tell what they both think of eachother. I used to really enjoy our occasional outings:( As a result I am starting to feel stifled. I come home from work, one day moulds into another, and I feel like I have nothing to look forward to either after work or at the weekends. I have no time to cook, I’ve recently started to just grab a pack of chocolate after work and have that for dinner.

Nowadays when I come home from work my partner is sat absorbed watching tv. It’s very difficult to get conversation out of him, and I’ve noticed lately when I come home and he’s got the tv on, I asked him a question like how is your day, and he ignores it and I have to ask several times. Sometimes I feel it better to just go the bedroom. When I tell him about my exhaustion and work stress he tells me things like ‘everyone goes through this’. He has an exam coming up in January which he needs to study for after work, so until then I’ll barely be seeing him.

My partner isn’t a bad man and we have good times together, but just lately I’ve had to have some time off work due to stress and come back to my mother’s house. I am down, I feel stressed. Just wondered if anyone could share some advice about this, thank you

OP posts:
RandomMess · 08/11/2024 12:56

Major red flags

You have stopped your hobbies

You have ended a friendship

End it and go back home.

Loubelou71 · 08/11/2024 12:56

Absolutely no. Not good enough. You're young so bin him and find someone who doesn't control what you do.

MorningHood · 08/11/2024 12:57

Time to say b-bye!

Discombobble · 08/11/2024 12:57

He might not be a bad man, but he is a bad partner and he is squeezing the joy out of your life - he needs to go

BigDahliaFan · 08/11/2024 12:58

You are so young. Just go back to your mum's and find something else. This isn't right.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 08/11/2024 13:00

This man is controlling. You don't need him in your life.

AlertCat · 08/11/2024 15:14

Controlling behaviour, will escalate to coercion (if he’s not there already). Please leave him.

Redwinedaze · 08/11/2024 15:18

If you was my daughter I’d want you home, look up coercive and controlling behaviour.

Want more for yourself. X

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