How to let go of anger?

[ThatGutsyHedgehog]

I’m after any advise of letting go of anger towards my MIL.
She’s always liked being in charge and opinionated but came to a head post partum.
She critiqued parenting choices, shouted at us when she wanted to visit and it didn’t work for us, multiple requests for alone time (despite being told no) and negative around breastfeeding.
I have taken a massive step back and let DH take the lead and he takes DS to visit without me. However she’s always asking where I am- genuinely probably doesn’t think she’s done anything wrong.
i feel stressed at the thought of seeing her and im just angry that she caused stress post partum completely unnecessarily. But I would like to get to a place I can let it go and tolerate her company for DH sake.
Any ideas on how to do it?

Is she asking where you are to you or your husband ? If it's all through him tell him you need a break from hearing about her and what she thinks about you. Minimising her presence in your lives means cutting short conversations about her.

The only way I've found to get rid of angry feelings is to voice them. That is really tricky when it's your MIL. It's especially difficult to bury the hatchet about past wrongdoings because you have to bring it all up again, but do you think you'd be able to go to see her with the future intention of just saying so when she pisses you off? They key is you don't have to say it in an angry way, just a clear one. It is just drawing boundaries. You can even say explicitly 'I'm drawing this boundary' which tbh often really gets on people's nerves, but tough shit?

You have every right to be angry. Letting your husband here take the lead was a mistake because he is unable and unwilling to stand up for himself in his mothers presence, let alone you as his wife.

Your H needs to stand up for his family as well as his own self here
. He needs therapy re the relationship he has with his mother . He taking your child to see her gives her what she wants and goodness alone knows what verbal rubbish she feeds your man.

You would not have tolerated this from a friend. Do not tolerate it from her ever and be tired also of being the last person who matters here.

That’s a really good point thank you … I do think I need to hear about her less. Even when she calls my heart rate increases and I feel stressed.