My mom had a stroke and I was with her for a month taking care of her until I could get her I to a new nursing home after she signed herself out of the last. It was tolling, I wasn't sleeping and started to get pains in places. Anyways boyfriend of 27yrs went with me and was supposed to work while we were there, well he did maybe 12 hrs, wouldn't talk to me without being snappy and that started the first day we got there. He stayed at his friends home... I guess. I don't know he wasn't sharing his location telling me about his day nothing. I got obsessed and got into his phone and all the porn, girls he was looking up on FB in the are (which is where we grew up) I just lost it on him and now am having trust issues. There was so much more that happened, but how do I get passed it? I felt so abandoned and alone while caring for my mother (left side parylisis). He was not there for me and mentally and physically I needed someone and someone to talk to and he had told me he didn't want to hear it. He says he didn't cheat but... I don't know. I will be seeing a therapist because that whole month messed me up completely. Also, I have been throwing it at him like crazy and ge still got up at 3 am the other night and went and watched porn. It just makes me feel horrible about myself like am I not enough, why look up all these women and watch all this porn, hell he had 528 pictures saved on his instagram of half naked women. Following a ton on FB, tiktock, instagram, and freaking pintrest. Am I paranoid? He acts like I have no right to feel this way and I'm ridiculous.