I have always lacked confidence, I've just never been the loudest person in the room and never one to sing my own praises. It actually makes me cringe when someone compliments me, I usually try and change the subject quite quickly.
The flip side of this is my standards are very high and I feel I have been pretty successful in life as a result of putting pressure on myself to achieve high.
Anyway, in the last 5/10 years, since being married, becoming a parent and owning a home, buying cars, going on holidays etc, I feel this intense need to appear like I'm doing well. And so I am constantly comparing myself to others, including my close friends as well as my siblings, or DHs siblings. I also feel I'm comparing my parenting to these people too, which I know sounds silly and ridiculously competitive.
The thing is I'm not actually hugely competitive, I don't need to be the best, I just want to feel like I'm keeping up with the standard if that makes sense.
Am I alone in feeling this way? Will it pass in my 40s? (currently nearly 35).
Does anyone have tips to gain more self confidence and self esteem? I know comparison is the theif of all joy so how do I stop it?!